Stock Options Vest Comic Strips - Page 5
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Share April 24, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Ahem . . . I think I'll call my stock broker . . . I'm an investor, you know." Dogbert says, "Ooh . . . I'm impressed." Dilbert says into the telephone, "What? No profits yet? I'll call back in an hour." Dilbert says, "I wonder if this is a bad time to be in chocolate coins."
Share July 03, 2012's comic on:
Dogbert: I'm starting a pump-and-dump newsletter for thinly traded stocks. It's legal as long as I disclose my holdings and my bad stock picks can be attributed to honest mistakes. Meet my stock picker. Coworker: All shhtocks go up!
Share July 04, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Wally, I can't give you a raise because you accomplished nothing this year. Wally: That's okay because I make a fortune investing in penny stocks. Do you want some hot stock tips? Dilbert: Did you get a raise. Wally: No, but I narrowed the gap between his income and mine.
Share January 21, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert stands at a desk and works on a computer as Dilbert watches from behind. Dogbert says, "I can execute my stock transactions on-line with the PC." Dogbert stops typing and says, "There . . . My insider trading netted another sixty million dollars." Dilbert shakes his finger at Dogbert and says, "Bad dog!" Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "I suppose it's too late to try slapping him with a rolled-up newspaper."
Share January 22, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert says to Dilbert, Ratbert, and Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs, "Thank you all for coming." Dogbert continues, "I called this house meeting because somebody tipped off the authorities about my insider stock trading." Dogbert says, "Somebody in this room is a rat." Ratbert looks worried as he asks, "Figuratively speaking?"
Share January 23, 1992's comic on:
Ratbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dogbert says, "I thought you were my friend, Ratbert. Why did you tip off the authorities about my insider stock trading?" Ratbert replies, "I was afraid that if you kept the money you would leave and I'd never see you again." Dogbert says, "Really? Gee . . ." Dogbert asks, "Did they give you a reward?" Ratbert replies, "Yeah, I'm outta here!"
Share July 13, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm going to work like a regular guy even though I just made a fortune in the stock market." Dilbert continues, "That's because I still want to be a useful and contributing member of society." Dilbert continues, "And of course, the workplace is the second most satisfying place to gloat." Dogbert asks, "Are you done here yet?"
Share July 15, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert's head is bandaged and his arm is in a sling. Dilbert says, "I've had nothing but tragedy since making a fortune in the stock market." Dilbert continues, "Sometimes, Dogbert, it seems like our lives have preset balances of joy and pain; when one gets too high the other kicks in to compensate." Dilbert continues, "But through it all, I always have you, my friend." Dogbert replies, "At least until my good luck kicks in."
Share July 16, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Gee, Mary, you weren't willing to date me BEFORE I made millions in the stock market." Dilbert continues, "I'm afraid you see me as just a big, talking wallet." Mary replies, "You're much more than that." Mary says, "For example, you also wear thick glasses." Dilbert says angrily, "Too little, too late."
Share July 17, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert says to the garbage man, "I've been miserable since I made my fortune in the stock market . . ." The garbage man replies, "It's the 'Law of Found Money.' Nature won't allow us to keep money we find on the ground or win by chance. Don't resist; let your intuition guide you." Dilbert stands in a computer retail store writing a check. He asks the salesclerk, "This comes with a color monitor, right?" The salesperson stands in front of a supercomputer labeled, "Gray 9. Only $10,000,000."