Ten Million Dollars Comic Strips - Page 5

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425 Results for Ten Million Dollars

View 41 - 50 results for ten million dollars comic strips. Discover the best "Ten Million Dollars" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #audio lessons, #hundred million, #showing up, #performing ceo, #be the person, #buy audio lessons

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Dogbert: Would you like to make a hundred million dollars for just showing up at work? Dogbert: My audio lessons teach you how to become an underperforming CEO. $19.95 Step One: become A CEO> Step Two: Be the sort who would buy these audio lessons.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no budeget, #give raisem, #business trip las vegas, #four million, #bathrub, #flooded five floors, #bartenders

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The Boss: "Don't blame me, but there's no budget to give you a raise this year." Alice: "Why not?" The boss: "My business trip to Las Vegas cost four million dollars because I passed out in the bathtub with the water running and flooded five floors." The boss; "The bartenders there are totally irresponsible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #10 million dollars, #company, #four people, #weather website, #web monitoring, #business

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"Alice, this year you did the work of four people and made over $10 million for the company." "But according to our web monitoring software, you used company resources to look at a weather web site." "Thief."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stirrup pants, #not professional, #filed patent, #50 million dollars, #earn license fees, #comapny, #various pant crises

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The Boss calls Alice as she is walking by: "Alice!" The Boss tells Alice: "Stirrup pants are not professional attire." Alice explains: "I just filed a patent that will earn fifty million in license fees for the company." The Boss is impressed: "Really? Wow." He continues: "But its no excuse for bad pants." Alice says: "Whatever. Did you sign the budget request I gave you last week?" The Boss answers: "No... I've been busy with various pant-related crises." The stirrup pants are pulled over the Boss's head. He thinks: "Here's another."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #wages, #hiring engineers, #google, #million per year, #change the world, #average engineer pay, #money

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Interviewee: Google offered me a million dollars a year. What's your offer? Boss: Work for us and you can change the world! Interviewee: Change it how? Boss: By lowering the average pay of engineers. Hiring engineers

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #engineers, #wages, #start up, #million each, #under paid, #money, #salray, #paid workers

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Boss: This is one of the engineers that works at the start-up we purchased. We bought the company just to get the engineers. Basically, each engineer cost us a million dollars. Dilbert: I'm so underpaid! Engineer: That money didn't go to me!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #improbable solution, #work problem, #one million, #business model

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Dilbert: I need an improbable solution to a work problem.Deus ex machina services. Dogbert says, "Sure. I charge one million dollars for each improbable solution." Dilbert says, "Okay, then I also need an improbable way to get things from you for free." Dogbert says, "Stop breaking my business model."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #seminar, #teach, #make millions, #scam, #seminar name, #crush hopes, #dreams, #bitter and broken, #nominal fee, #invest, #100 to one million

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Asok says, "I'm going to a seminar that will teach me how to make a million dollars!" Alice says, "It's a scam." Asok says, "How could you know that?" Asok says, "I haven't even told you the name of the seminar!" Asok says, "You can't be sure it is a scam if you know none of the details." Asok says, "You just want to crush my hopes so I become like you." Asok says, "But it won't work because I have dreams! I won't be a bitter and broken cynic like you two!" Asok says, "I'll have the last laugh after I pay my nominal fee and learn how to 'Turn a Hundred Dollars Into a Million.'" Dogbert says, "invest $100 at 5% interest and wait 190 years. Thanks for coming."

Should Have Done It Sooner

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Should Have Done It Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #dollars, #failure, #managers & supervisors, #patch, #payroll, #problem, #raise, #savings, #software, #technology, #years

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dilbert: i wrote a software patch that will save three million dollars per year. i feel as if i deserve a bonus or a raise. boss: when did you do it? dilbert: this week. boss: how long did we have the problem? dilbert: five years. boss: then you should have fixed it five years ago. looks like a gigantic failure to me. you should be ashamed of yourself. in another room catbert: did you try my strategy for keeping payroll expenses low? boss: works like magic.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer software, #competitor, #software, #entice people, #buy products, #freemium startegy, #engineering

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Dilbert: Our competitor just bought ten million copies of our software. Boss: Huh? Dilbert: They plan to give it away for free to entice people to buy their own product that has more features. We'll be part of their freemium strategy. Boss: That's just showing off.