2020 Comic Strips - Page 5
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Character
Tuesday February 04,
2020
Marketing Complains
Tags business, managers & supervisors, marketing, complain, moronic, fired
Transcript
boss: marketing is complaining that you're not using their ideas. dilbert: that's because all of their ideas are moronic. boss: i told them i fired you. don't leave your cubicle or use any digital devices until this blows over.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday February 05,
2020
Cancelled Presentation
Tags business, cancelled, presentation, meeting, happy
Transcript
dilbert looking disheveled: i wooed all night to finish the presentation you need for this morning. boss: oh. that meeting got canceled. dilbert upset and yelling: when exactly did you hear of that? boss: it won't make you happier if i tell you.
Thursday February 06,
2020
Slide Deck Too Well Designed
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, tasks, well-designed
Transcript
boss: your slide deck is too well-designed. it suggests you spend too much time on things that are not important. asok: you don't give me important tasks. boss: that's no excuse for good design.
Friday February 07,
2020
Email Versus Meeting
Saturday February 08,
2020
Vendor Not Performing
Tags business, vendor, performance, replace, parent, company, subsidiaries, sub-contract
Transcript
dilbert: we will no longer be using you as a vendor because you have not performed. vendor employee: i already knew that because you replaced us with one of the subsidiaries of my parent company. dilbert: well, at least it isn't you. vendor employee voice on phone: who do think they sub-contract that work to?
Monday February 10,
2020
Tags business, conversation, excellent, hardware, network, price, record, reliability, warranty
Transcript
dilbert: the new hardware you bought isn't compatible with our network. boss: i know, but the price was excellent, and they have a great reliability record. dilbert: i don't even know what conversation i'm in right now. boss: the extended warranty is second to none.
Tuesday February 11,
2020
Who Is The Fool
Tags business, install, server, upgrade, fool, lie, technology
Transcript
vendor: we can't finish the installation unless you buy our server upgrade. dilbert: that means you lied when you bid for the job, because you did not include a server upgrade. vendor: who's the fool now? dilbert: that would be me.
Wednesday February 12,
2020
Upgrade Schedule
Tags business, vendor, network, upgrade, allocating, technology
Transcript
vendor: we should be able to finish the network upgrade in about three months. dilbert: when you bid for the job. you said it would take thirty days. vendor: if we're allocating blame. i'm not the one who was dumb enough to believe me.
Thursday February 13,
2020
Price Gouging
Tags business, network, idiot, price, gouging, upgrade
Transcript
vendor: now that the network installation is half-done, i have you idiots right where i want you. it's too late for you to get a new vendor, so i'll be price-gouging you on upgrades you didn't even know you would need. dilbert: why are you telling us???? vendor: it makes it more fun for me.
Friday February 14,
2020
Bias For Action
Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, co-workers, business, meeting, prototype, bias
Transcript
Co-workers around meeting table. Ted: our pointy-haired boss told us to scrap our prototype and start over from scratch. dilbert: o was in that meeting and he said nothing like that. maybe we should verify what he wants. ted: or... we could have a bias for action!

