Company Lawyer Comic Strips - Page 5

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899 Results for Company Lawyer

View 41 - 50 results for Company Lawyer comic strips. Discover the best "Company Lawyer" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #japanese, #offer, #company, #ceo, #employees, #laid off, #accept, #neener, #Dogbert

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A man stands in front of Dilbert's desk and says, "The Japanese have made an offer to buy the company." The man continues, "As CEO you would make $68 million . . . But the employees would all be laid off." Back at home, Dilbert asks Dogbert, "If I accept, what will I say to the employees?" Dogbert replies, "How about 'neener neener?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #reject, #generous, #company, #hostile takeover, #formidable, #adversary, #lawyers, #clothes off

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Dilbert says to two attorneys, "I've decided to reject your generous offer to buy the company." Dilbert continues, "And if you try to make this a hostile takeover you will find me to be a formidable adversary." Dilbert arrives at home with his clothes ripped to shreads. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Then their lawyers chewed my clothes off."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #alice, #laid off, #bruce, #calculated, #friends, #pay cuts, #company, #gosh, #office, #furniture

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Dilbert, Wally and Alice stand behind a man's desk. Wally says, "We're sorry to hear you're getting laid off, Bruce." Wally continues, "We calculated that if ten of your friends here took ten percent pay cuts then the company can keep you." Bruce says excitedly, "Gosh! You'd do that for me?" Wally replies, "No. We're here to look at your office furniture."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #phone, #ring, #long, #distance, #company, #vague, #promises, #unverifiable, #savings, #switch, #inconvenient

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Dilbert walks toward a ringing phone. A voice on the telephone says, "Hello! This is a long-distance phone company with vague promises of unverifiable savings if you switch to us." The voice asks, "Is this an inconvenient time for you?" Dilbert replies, "No." The voice says, "Oh, then we'll call back later."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #government, #speech, #ratbert, #country, #freedom, #checklist, #advocate, #overthrowing, #obscene, #generalize, #disadvantaged, #group, #teach, #children, #practical, #lawyer, #refer, #hearing, #distance, #god, #bless, #clear

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Ratbert tells Dogbert, "The great thing about this country is that we have freedom of speech!" Ratbert asks, "Is it okay to say that?" Dogbert replies, "Hmm . . . Let's see if it's on the free speech checklist . . ." Dogbert reads a document and says, "Okay, you didn't advocate overthrowing the government . . ." Dogbert continues, "You were not obscene . . . You did not generalize about a disadvantaged group . . . You did not teach children anything useful or practical . . ." Dogbert continues, "You didn't refer to anybody who can afford a lawyer to sue us . . ." Dogbert continues, "And there's nobody within hearing distance who can harm you financially . . . You're clear." Ratbert says, "God bless this country!" Dogbert says, "Whoa! Whoa!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #famous, #jail, #killed, #lawyer, #prison, #rich, #satisfy, #snores

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Dogbert: Dogbert's jail for the rich and famous aims to satisfy all of your prison needs. Man: Could you arrange to have my lawyer killed? He snores.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #attorney, #petimony, #allegedly, #pet, #Garfield, #pat

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Dilbert answers the door and a man in a suit says, "I'm an attorney for Mister Dogbert . . ." The lawyer continues, "He's suing you for 'petimony.' You allegedly pet the neighbor's cat . . ." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "See . . It was a pat, not a pet. Like this . . ." Dogbert, who is reading the newspaper, replies, "Oh look, it's 'Garfield,' your favorite . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #sues, #Dilbert, #petimoney, #amicably, #lawyers, #advised, #ugly

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Dilbert, Dogbert and a lawyer sit at a conference table. Dilbert asks, "Can't we handle this amicably, without lawyers?" The attorney whispers in Dogbert's ear. Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I've been advised that you're ugly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #sues, #ratbert, #wtiness, #alone, #drinking, #root, #beer, #underwear, #sickness

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Dogbert's lawyer says, "I call Ratbert as my first witness." Ratbert sits on the witness stand. The attorney asks, "Is it true that Dilbert is a secret cat lover who often betrayed the trust of his faithful dog?" Ratbert replies, "It's true." Ratbert continues, "I often found him alone drinking root beer and reading 'Cat Fancy' magazine in his underwear . . . It's a sickness."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #industrial, #spy, #rumor, #xypon, #newspaper, #secret, #agent, #the boss

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Dogbert sits across from the Boss and says, "My code name is Dogbert. I'm an industrial spy." The Boss asks, "What makes you think my company needs your services?" Dogbert replies, "It's pretty obvious that you won't survive on your wits alone." Dogbert continues, "There's a rumor that Xypon Inc. is developing a tactical nuclear weapon to use against you." The Boss asks, "What exactly will you do for us?" Dogbert answers, "You give me fifty thousand dollars, then I disappear for a month and do secret spy things." Dogbert continues, "I'll return with information that only a spy or a regular newspaper reader could know." A man at Xypon Inc. asks, "How good are they, Dogbert?" Dogbert pulls a wagon full of money bags. He answers, "They're a bit gullible."