Bottom 10% Comic Strips - Page 5

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83 Results for Bottom 10%

View 41 - 50 results for bottom 10% comic strips. Discover the best "Bottom 10%" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2004's comic on:


Tags #office relocation., #new cubicle, #less roomy, #need butter, #torso, #slide in, #attracts rats, #cheap, #low budget

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Office relocation. Asok: Your new cubicle is less roomy than the old one. You will need this butter. Apply it liberally to your torso area and you can slide right in. But don't stay in there for more than 10 minutes at a time because it attracts rats.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2004's comic on:


Tags #repeat customer, #rate of recidivism, #focus on marketing, #learn from experience, #free knuckle tattoo, #nicknames for women, #free book, #criminals, #dumb

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The boss: "We only have a 10% repeat customer rate whereas prisons have a 70% rate of recidivism." "We need to focus our marketing on criminals because they don't learn from experience." "Order now and get a free knuckle tattoo plus our free book 1,001 nicknames for women."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #target market, #one customer, #10 thousand units, #shop carefully

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Dilbert: "Our target market is people who don't shop carefully." "Our product is designed to attack the user and force him to reorder." "We only have one customer but we've sold 10,000 units."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #real estate agent, #10 million, #first property, #covered with frogs, #banshee farm, #access road, #boiling cesspool

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The real estate agent The first property costs $10 million. Its covered with endangered frogs and its next to a banshee farm. The access road is a narrow path across a boiling cesspool of tormented souls.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #workplace injuries, #10 thousand percent, #new safety manuals, #website, #blood pressure rising, #technology

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Wally: "Workplace injuries are up ten thousand percent since I distributed the new safety manuals." "The binders have sharp edges and, apparently, a curse. I asked Asok to help put it on our website." Asok: "Hands... So numb. Eyes... Strained. Blood pressure rising..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2005's comic on:


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Wally Interviews "The job doesn't have a base salary." "You'll pay us $1,000 per month and work from home. If you make any money for us, we'll give you 10%." "You're not allowed to have business cards. And you can't use our name." "Can I have a private office in my house?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2005's comic on:


Tags #10 million dollars, #company, #four people, #weather website, #web monitoring, #business

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"Alice, this year you did the work of four people and made over $10 million for the company." "But according to our web monitoring software, you used company resources to look at a weather web site." "Thief."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2006's comic on:


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"I got a job at the Indian company where you outsourced my job." "Then I arranged to work from home, which, as you know, is my old cubicle." "Fine. Here's your assignment." "E-mail it to me. My day starts in 10 hours."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2006's comic on:


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"Your project came in 10% over budget." "Actually, it came in at exactly what I estimated." "You cut my budget by 10% because you wanted to feel like a leader." "I assume you'll give me a huge raise to reward my excellent estimating ability." "Why can't you be like Wally? His project budget was $10,000,000 and he only spent $147." "If you're so smart, explain that!" "That's hard to explain without using the phrase 'You gullible toad.'" "I'm next. What kind of mood is he in?" "Not so good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2006's comic on:


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"I'm like the story of the auto mechanic." "A woman has her car towed into the shop. The mechanic opens the hood and takes a look." "After about ten seconds he takes a hammer and taps the engine. It starts right up." "The mechanic says, 'That will be $100, please.'" Zzzzz "The woman says, '$100??? All you did was tap the engine!'" "The mechanic says, 'It's $90 for knowing where to tap and $10 for the tap.'" zzzzz TAP! "20 years ago I wouldn't have known which one of you to tap."