Client Meeting Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

950 Results for Client Meeting

View 41 - 50 results for client meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Client Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #business meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Alice and another employee sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Does anybody have any questions about our plan? Ask me anything - there are no 'stupid' questions." A man asks, "If you crossed the international date line on your birthday, would you still get presents?" The Boss thinks, "Oh great . . . There ARE stupid questions and I don't know the answers."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Wally, #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #ted, #business meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I'm told by a reliable source that our senior vice president made a sound like 'yurp' at lunch." The Boss continues, "What does it mean? Does it signal a new set of priorities? We must demonstrate our commitment to this vision." Dilbert asks, "What was the context of this vision?" The Boss replies, "All we know is he was eating a burrito."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Wally, #Dilbert, #ted, #business meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "This thankless assignment shall go to whoever asks a question or makes eye contact." The employees all look away as the Boss continues, "It's really, really stupid . . . Does anybody want to question it?" Alice slides a pocket mirror across the table. The Boss says, "I think I see Ted's eyes in the mirror." Dilbert says, "Good one, Alice!" Ted gasps.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #ted, #business project, #business meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table with a man from marketing. The man says, "You engineers have done NOTHING on my project. You just keep saying I haven't given you sufficient requirements!" The man throws his arms up in frustration and says, "I don't know what else you need and you won't tell me what you need!! Is this just your way of avoiding work??!" Wally replies, "I'll bet you regret choosing marketing as a career path." Dilbert adds, "It looks like a lot of work."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Wally, #Dilbert, #ed, #business meeting, #business project

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally watch the Boss tell Ed, "Nervous Ed, I'm assigning you to a special project." Nervous Ed pulls his tie and replies, "Special assignment? That means you don't have any real work for me." Nervous Ed continues, "Everybody knows that a special assignment is a kiss of death." The Boss continues, "You'll be sharing a cubicle with six other employees who are also on special assignment." Nervous Ed looks scared and thinks, "Don't panic yet . . . Maybe it's something important . . . Maybe it's something that could make an impact." The Boss says, "Your assignment is to improve employee empowerment." Nervous Ed looks shocked. Nervous Ed convulses and faints. Wally tells the Boss, "Thanks for letting us watch." The Boss asks, "Did you like the part about six in the cubicle?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #ted, #Wally, #business meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Alice, Wally and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Welcome to the four hour . . ." The Boss yells, "Meeting from HELL!!" He laughs diabolically. Dilbert thinks, "That's rarely a good sign."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 1993's comic on:


Tags #judge, #Dogbert, #trial, #alice, #temp worker, #Wally, #jury

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to the members of a jury, "Yes, my client did accidentally slay a 'temp' worker . . . Emphasis on 'TEMP.'" Dogbert asks, "But who among us can say they haven't slain innocent people when the situation called for it?" The judge replies, "I can." Dogbert says, "Well, great . . . So much for getting a fair trial."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 1993's comic on:


Tags #jury, #trial, #Dogbert, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to the jury, "Although the insanity defense does not apply to my client, we have something just as good." Dogbert points to Dilbert and explains, "My client is an 'engineer savant.' He understands technology but nothing else." Dogbert pulls Dilbert's foot out from under the table and says, "As evidence, I submit my client's white socks, complete with the sock protector and auxiliary writing tools."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #meeting, #job application

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk and says, "Your entire staff volunteered to work on my task force. Now I want them and their budgets transferred to me." The Boss asks, "Why would I agree to that?" Dogbert replies, "If you don't, I'll tell everybody you're not a team player . . . Sign here." The Boss says as he signs, "So . . . Now I'm on the team, right?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah . . . The losing team . . . By yourself."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 1993's comic on:


Tags #business meeting, #Promotion, #Dogbert, #executive man, #management

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and several executives sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "Thank you all for coming to this emergency board meeting." Dogbert continues, "As you know, all promotions to senior management are based on hair. I think we all agree this is the best system." Dogbert lifts the president's toupee with a pointer and continues, "But have you noticed that I have a rich lustrous coat, whereas our current president gets a little outside help?"