Cram Art Comic Strips - Page 5
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62 Results for Cram Art
View 41 - 50 results for cram art comic strips. Discover the best "Cram Art" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday March 23,
2006
Tags #art, #modern art, #nonsense, #taste, #culture
Transcript
Famous artist Dogberto will tell us his plans for our lobby. "I plan to buy a drop cloth at Home Depot and drape it over the security desk." "Won't that be hard on the guard?" "Not until I douse it with gas and light it."
Friday March 24,
2006
Tags #art, #artist, #modern art, #expression, #obtuse, #con, #scheme, #money, #fake
Transcript
My idea is to drape a huge tarp over the hideous sculpture in the courtyard. "My message will be that art is as much about the negative space as the positive." "Plus it's not really art unless someone is winning."
Saturday April 07,
2007
Tags #art, #criticism, #irritation, #worth
Transcript
Art Department Dogbert: I am Dogbert, the quantifier of unquantifiable things. I declare you to be worth $85. No one likes to be quantified.
Sunday October 26,
2008
Tags #carbicle, #50%car, #50% cubicle, #100% awesome, #human efficiency, #expression, #engineer, #something perfect, #genius, #shut up, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I call my invention a carbicle." Dilbert says, "It's 50% car, 50% cubicle, and 100% awesome." Dilbert says, "it is the ultimate expression of human efficiency." Dilbert says, "Rarely does an engineer get to create something so perfect that it can never me improved." Dilbert says, "I hesitate to use the word 'genius,' but I won't protest if others do." Dogbert says, "You should cram a bed in there." Dilbert says, "Shut up." Dogbert says, "You shut up."
Wednesday March 18,
2009
Tags #presentation, #meeting, #ridicule, #confusion, #business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "the biggest risk to the project is our own thundering incompetence." Duh! Dilbert says, "It is a known fact that every project has at least one irredeemable imbecile." The boss says, "I have a vague, uneasy feeling about your clip art."
Monday December 21,
2009
Tags #artist, #struggling, #bills, #art, #abstract
Transcript
Man says, "I work here to pay the bills but I'm actually an artist." Dilbert says, "Wow. You must be a terrible artist if you have to work here just to eat." Man says, "My work isn't commercial." Wally says, "It's not really art if no one likes it."
Wednesday March 31,
2010
Tags #human resources, #evil director, #meeting, #leadership, #empty promises, #imaginary, #work, #weekend, #promoted, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "Leadership is the art of trading imaginary things in the future?" Catbert says, "For real things today." Catbert says, "If you work all weekend, you might be promoted someday, if there's ever an opening... and no one else is more qualified."
Wednesday April 14,
2010
Tags #nose job, #snout, #dog nose, #health insurance, #surgery, #veterinarian, #career, #match looks, #engineer, #shake hands, #art department, #medical, #engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "Our policy is to put people in careers that match their looks." Asok says, "I thought that was a coincidence." The Boss says, "Your botched nose job makes you too unconventional to be an engineer." Asok says, "No!" Woman says, "Welcome to the art department." Man says, "Man, I wish I was brave enough to get a snout."
Thursday April 15,
2010
Tags #nose job, #question, #art department, #veterinarian, #dog nose, #snout, #artistic statement, #hot, #airflow, #sit in chairs
Transcript
Asok in the art department Woman says, "Is that a botched nose job, which would be tragic?" Woman says, "Or a bold artistic statement, which would be totally hot?" Asok says, "It started out as a mistake, but I'm keeping it for the improved airflow. How hot is that?"
Friday April 16,
2010
Tags #nose job, #homeopathy, #art department, #annoyed, #irrational, #hurt feelings, #scorpios, #horoscope, #astrologer, #mean, #insult, #snout, #dog nose
Transcript
Asok in the art department Man says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your botched nose job." Asok says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your irrational belief in things that have no scientific basis." Man says, "You sort of hurt my feelings there." Asok says, "Didn't your astrologer warn you about Scorpios?"