Difference Comic Strips - Page 5

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75 Results for Difference

View 41 - 50 results for difference comic strips. Discover the best "Difference" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2007's comic on:


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Jeff, the human ashtray "Watch out for that hole in the ground!" "That's not a hole. It's just a dark spot on the floor from some of your ash falling there." "Oh." "I can't tell the difference between my ash and a hole in the ground." "Dilbert, did you meet your new boss?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2007's comic on:


Tags #spreading rumors, #make me quit, #false rumors, #actual facts, #poacher, #endangered species

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Keith: Alice is spreading false rumors about me. She's trying to make me quit. Catbert: "At this company we don't get all anal about the difference between false rumors and actual facts." Keith: "That's not fair!" Catbert: "Said the alleged poacher of endangered species."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2007's comic on:


Tags #staff meeting, #take an hour, #skip meeting, #agree to die, #earlier, #deadness, #haunt boss, #agreement

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Wally: "Your staff meeting will take an hour of my life that I will never get back." "If you let me skip the meeting, I will agree, to die an hour earlier to make up the difference." Dilbert: "He agreed?" Wally: "Yes, and I'm going to use that extra hour of deadness to haunt hum."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2008's comic on:


Tags #company invested, #billion dollars, #made up numbers, #slide to oblivion, #made a difference, #victims

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"The company decided to invest a billion dollars based on your stupid made-up numbers." "You've crushed my dreams of a better tomorrow. Now my life is a cold, wet slide to oblivion." "I finally made a difference at work." "how many victims?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2008's comic on:


Tags #employee wellness programs, #save money, #hellness program, #big picture

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Dogbert says, "Employee wellness programs save money in the long run, but that does you no good." Dogbert says, "You need a program that can save you money now, when it makes a difference." Dilbert says, "A hellness program? I don't like the sound of that." The Boss says, "Try to see the big picture for once."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2008's comic on:


Tags #solar panels, #investors, #ham sandwhich, #assured stupidity

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The Boss says, "Our investors want to see the solar panels you invented." Dilbert says, "I didn't invent any solar panels." The Boss says, "Show them something else. They won't know the difference." A man says, "It looks like a ham sandwich." Dilbert says, "I was assured that you're stupid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2009's comic on:


Tags #economy, #money, #demand, #orders, #rejection

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Alice says, "The company cut my pay so I'm going to date a co-worker to make up the difference." Alice says, "From now on, one of you will be buying all of my meals and gifts." Wally says, "I'm oddly aroused by your offer." Alice says, "In that case it's not you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2009's comic on:


Tags #job, #assignment, #question, #scheme, #excited, #celebrating, #dancing, #lazy, #business

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The Boss says, "Wally, I need you to do an inventory in our warehouses. It should take about a month." Wally says, "Hypothetically, would anyone know the difference if I just made up the numbers?" The Boss says, "Well, no?" Wally says, "Dream job!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2010's comic on:


Tags #urban legends, #reality, #check up, #underwear, #doctor, #exam, #social security number, #tic tacs, #pills, #trick, #medical

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The Boss says, "I can't tell the difference between urban legends and reality." Doctor says, "I'll need your social security number so I can tell the government not to count any votes you cast." The Boss says, "You can do that?" Doctor says, "Here're some pills that look exactly like tic tacs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2010's comic on:


Tags #quality tester, #version 2, #engineer, #overpaid, #appear, #performance review, #office politics, #raise, #arms out, #plan, #strategy, #wave folder in face, #angry, #bug eyes, #grit teeth, #insubordination, #engineering

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, I need you to help with quality testing on Version 2." Dilbert says, "I'm an engineer, not a quality tester.' Dilbert says, "If I do quality testing, even temporarily, it will make me appear grossly overpaid." Dilbert says, "That impression could work against me during my next performance review." Dilbert says, "A one percent difference in pay, compounded over the rest of my life, is big money." Dilbert says, "Obviously my best strategy here is to offer resistance that's just short of insubordination." Dilbert says, "So move on, little man! Scat! Go!" Dilbert says, "Too much?"