Drug Enhancing Drugs Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

56 Results for Drug Enhancing Drugs

View 41 - 50 results for drug enhancing drugs comic strips. Discover the best "Drug Enhancing Drugs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #300 iq, #immortality drug, #impossible requirements, #job interview, #nobel peace prize, #time machine, #too old, #two centuires, #unix

View Transcript

Transcript

Old Man;I have all of the job requirements you're looking for." "I have an I.Q. of 300 several nobel prizes, and two centuries of unix experience, thanks to the time machine and immortality drug I invented. Catbert: That's a lot of words for 'too old.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #borrow pen, #company like family, #culture, #search computer, #sign docuemnt, #test for dugs, #trust and respect, #manipulate

View Transcript

Transcript

CatBert: This company is like a family. Our culture is based on trust and respect. Now sign this document that says we can test you for drugs and search your computer and your office. Man: Can I borrow your pen? Catbert: Do I look like Bill and Melinda Gates?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #yelling, #angry, #future

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the intern says, "Your generation is leaving my generation a dying planet and a crippling debt." Wally says, "Hee Hee!" Asok the intern says, "But we shall invent life-extending drugs so you will suffer along with us! Ha!" News Wally says, "Uh-oh." Asok the intern says, "We will connect you to machines and keep you alive until the poor demand to eat you." Wally says, "Well played."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee, #introduction, #greeting, #Advice, #scared, #regretting, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Welcome to your first day on the job." The boss says, "Always lock your desk at night because many of your coworkers are crooks." The boss says, "And the ones that have eyes like this got hired before we did drug testing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #meeting, #drugs, #medicing, #explaining, #screaming, #scared, #stupidity, #suggestion, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "My prescription meds cause drowsiness." Man says, "So I got a second prescription that causes phantom-hand syndrome to slap me at random intervals." Alice says, "Maybe you should use a doctor who has less-effective pharmaceutical reps in his territory." Man says, "Fist!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stupid things, #breathe fumes, #make people stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I invented a drug that makes people do stupid things. Then I dipped this dart in it." Dilbert says, "I don't know why I did it. There's no legitimate use for this sort of thing." Dilbert says, "Ow." Dogbert says, "I'll need a gallon for the weekend. And remember to breathe the fumes again."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tv newsroom, #switches off brain, #abilities, #science segment, #film celebrities, #rational decisions

View Transcript

Transcript

TV Newsroom Dilbert says, "I invented a drug that switches off the brain's ability to make rational decisions." Dilbert says, "I think it would make a good story for your science segment." Man says, "Or we could drug-dart celebrities and film what happens." Dilbert says, "For science, right?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #celebrations, #new year's day, #happy new year, #oxytocin drug dealer, #magical thinking, #space time continuum

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Happy New Year! Dilbert: Whoa! Settle down. I don't celebrate the magical thinking that says one random point in the space-time continuum is somehow special. Woman: It's just a hug. You'll enjoy it. Dilbert: You're like some sort of Oxytocin drug dealer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #etiquette & ethics, #biggest customer, #random drug sample, #awkward

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I'd like you to meet the CEO of the company that is our biggest customer. Wally: I'd shake but I have coffee in one hand, my random drug test sample in the other, and I don't want either one to get cold. Hey, I'm not the one who made this awkward.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #relations between the sexes, #Women, #boss, #injected, #job performance drugs, #jerk, #kryptonite, #evolution, #physical attributes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: our boss injected me with job performance enhancing drugs. Alice: Gaaa!!! Evolution has made me attracted to your physical attributes! Dilbert: I'm sort of a jerk now. Alice: Noooo! That's my kryptonite!