Elbonian Language Comic Strips - Page 5

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280 Results for Elbonian Language

View 41 - 50 results for elbonian language comic strips. Discover the best "Elbonian Language" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 1993's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #elbonian men, #Dilbert, #productivity

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An Elbonian says to Dilbert, "Thank you for teaching us 'quality' techniques." The Elbonian continues, "Manufacturing defects are down fifty percent since we all joined 'quality teams.'" The other Elbonian says, "Yes!" The Elbonian asks, "How's our productivity, Yorgi?" Yorgi replies, "Down fifty percent." Dilbert thinks as he walks away, "They're on to me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 1994's comic on:


Tags #converstaion, #Dilbert, #faking through, #velcro works, #block oxygen, #brain

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Ted: "He's explaining something that I already understand. I've got to stop him." Dilbert: "Blah blah blah." Ted: "I'll try vigorous nodding and agreeing, plus closed body language." Dilbert: "Blah blah blah." "Right right right." Dilbert: "And have I ever told you how 'velcro' works?" TED: "Maybe if I block the oxygen to my brain..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 1994's comic on:


Tags #elbonian division, #launching staellites, #technology, #elbonians

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The Boss: Our Elbonian division was the low bidder for launching French satellites into orbit. Im putting you personally in charge Make sure they use the right technology. Elbonia OOPS elbonian: I hope those things aren't expensive.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bad timing, #corporate offcie, #declared war, #french embassy, #satellite program, #slingshot

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Dilbert: The corporate office sent me to head up the Elbonian satellite launching program. Elbanian: ooh...bad timing. The french delivered their satellite early. we already tried to launch it with the town slingshot. Dilbert: It doesn't get much worse than this. Elbonain: It flattened the french embassy. They declared war an hour ago.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 1994's comic on:


Tags #emphasize positive, #french staellite, #trending downward, #upbeat, #war with france, #project staus

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dilberts letter: "Project status: We accidentally destroyed the French satellite and are now at war with France." Elbonian: "Maybe you should be a little more upbeat in your report. Emphasize the positive." letter: "...on a positive note, our headcount expenses are trending downward."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #all get out, #french bombing, #hardy breed, #run, #scare us

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Dilbert: The French are bombin us!! Run!! Elbonians: we elnonians are a hardy breed. Bombs don't scare us. ELBONIAN:'Course id be lying if I told you this didn't sting like all get out. NUPE IT.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 1994's comic on:


Tags #another war, #elbonia, #france, #french embassy, #french stopped bomb, #goading, #nothing worth destroying, #scarp metal

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Dilbert: "...The French stopped bombing Elbonia when they realized there was nothing worth destroying." "Ironically, the GNP of Elbonia tripled by selling the bomb fragments for scrap. When I left they were trying to goad France into another war." "French Embassy" Elbonian: "You call this swill champagne?? If we drank this we'd have to eat snails to get the taste out of our mouths too!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1994's comic on:


Tags #c computer lamguage, #black hole, #light can't escape, #field gravity, #ideas, #escape, #lack substance

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"No, 'C' is a computer language, not the grade for my project." "What's happening?" "He turned into a black hole, so dense that light cannot escape his field of gravity." "Ping" "Unfortunately, only his ideas can escape the gravity because they lack substance." "What if you program in 'B'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 1994's comic on:


Tags #body language, #politely tell, #remove watch, #smash watch, #daily planner, #feel good, #act bored, #self heimlich manuever, #kerokian dodge, #instructions

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"Dogbert's Body Language Update" "Are you hampered by the limits of conventional body language?" "I can help." - How can you politely tell somebody he's babbling? "Babble, Babble." - Remove the offender's watch while he babbles.- "Babble." - Smash the watch with your daily planner. - "Babble." "Whack!" - This won't stop the babble, but it will feel real good for a minute.- "Babble." "Mmm." - Use this position to signal your surrender to the babble.- "Babble." -Next week - the self-Heimlich manuever and the Kervorkian dodge.- "Babble."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #teller, #automated, #machine, #menus, #chinese language option

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Dilbert: Im getting performance anxiety at the automated teller machine. I feel the impatient glare of the stranger behind me. I try to prove competent by speeding through the menus. Good Lord, I hit the mandarin chinese language option. Oh no! I think I transferred my life savings to the "United way" Great...now his truck eyeballs are stuck to the back of my neck. This is exactly why I hate going to the automated teller. Dogbert: I think a little "visine" would make him slide right off. Dilbert: There was a time I could afford that...