End Sentences Comic Strips - Page 5
204 Results for End Sentences
View 41 - 50 results for end sentences comic strips. Discover the best "End Sentences" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share December 24, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert hands his plane ticket to a woman at the Happy Airlines counter. Dilbert tells Dogbert, "Vacation, here we come!" The woman types on the computer. Dilbert watches her type and thinks, "Why do they have to enter so much stuff in the computer?" Dilbert thinks, "They already have our reservation and seat assignment in there. What else do they need?" Dilbert says, "I'm developing a sudden fear of flying." Dogbert says, "Step aside." Dogbert stands on the counter and shouts, "What's going on up here??!!" The woman says, "Gate 13. Have a nice flight." Dogbert says, "Okay." The woman types, "They never saw their beloved luggage again. The misfits always regretted offending Tantra, the Goddess of Flight. The end."
Share February 02, 1996's comic on:
The Boss, Alice and Dilbert stand next to the coffee machine. The Boss says, "I need everybody to help in the shipping department today." The Boss continues, "Every product that ships before the end of the month gets counted as revenue for the fiscal year. Unfortunately, we don't have inventory." Dilbert, Alice and Wally each have an open box in front of them. The Boss continues, "So we'll ship whatever is lying around, book it as revenue and sort it out later." Wally reaches into his mouth and says, "This one's getting gum."
Share February 23, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert perches on a rock using a laptop. He says to two Elbonians, "Before I accept the software you wrote under contract, tell me what development methodology you use." One Elbonian says, "We hold village meetings to boast of our skills and curse the devil-spawned end-users." The other Elbonian adds, "Sometimes we juggle." The first Elbonian continues, "At the last minute we slam out some code and go roller skating." Dilbert says, "I would find this humorous if not for the pig on my back." A pig clings to Dilbert lovingly.
Share March 31, 1996's comic on:
The Boss says to Alice, Wally and Dilbert, "It's my honor to present this special bonus check to Barry." Alice turns to the man next to her and says, "That's you." The man stares straight ahead as he replies, "MY name is Barry??" The Boss says, "This is for working hundreds of hours of overtime." The Boss continues, "While you quitters were going home by 9 pm every night . . ." The Boss continues, "Barry remained at work staring at his computer for hours." Barry eats the bonus check. The Boss continues, "It's important to recognize extra effort." The Boss continues, "Sadly, that's the end of the special bonus budget for the year." Barry burps. Wally says, "In retrospect, I shouldn't have told Barry that his screen saver is an epic miniseries." Dilbert and Alice glare at him.
Share April 11, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dogbert sits on the couch reading the newspaper. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Today was a bad day. First the vending machine stole my money . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . And by the end of the day I had been sentenced to death by the director of human resources . . ." Dogbert reads and hums as he ignores Dilbert. Still reading the paper, Dogbert says, "I've become totally desensitized to tragic news!" Dilbert says, "The execution is scheduled for tomorrow. I should call in sick."
Share May 04, 1996's comic on:
Wally hands the Boss a document and says, "Here are my budget estimates for the year." Wally continues, "Thanks to management bungling and indecision, I plan to use no capital for several months followed by a reckless year-end orgy of acquisition." Wally asks, "Is that what you were looking for?" The Boss responds, "Tell me again what 'capital' is."
Share May 31, 1996's comic on:
A man enters Wally's cubicle, hands him a document and says, "Wally, I need your input on this by the end of the day." Wally points to a stack of paper and says, "Please drop your request here, in 'Wally's Pile of Perpetual Ignorance.'" The man asks, "Can't I just give it to you?" Wally replies, "I don't like to touch that stuff with my hands."
Share June 02, 1996's comic on:
Phil the Ruler of Heck watches Dilbert and thinks, "My next victim." Phil says, "I am Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light and Supreme Ruler of Heck!!" Dilbert sits at his desk and replies, "Hi, Phil." Phil says, "You must choose one of these two hideous fates to pay for your sins." Phil continues, "You can choose eternal high pay, but all of your work will be burned in front of you at the end of each day . . ." Phil continues, "Or you can choose eternal poverty, but your work will be useful and appreciated." Dilbert says, "WOW! They're BOTH better than my current job!" Dilbert says, "Hey, Wally, you might want to get in on this!" Wally confesses, "I watch tv when I'm supposed to be telecommuting." Phil thinks, "I hate the nineties." Dilbert waves his hand and says, "Do me first!"
Share June 06, 1996's comic on:
Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table with a vendor. Wally says, "You must do our bidding, Vendor. We control your economic future." Dilbert says, "Of course, our buying decision will be based solely on quantifiable performance measurements." Dilbert stands at the end of the table holding a hoop. The salesperson is on his hands and knees on the table. Dilbert says, "Your competitor completed the 'Vendor Challenge Course' in 37 seconds." Wally adds, "And he gave us VERY nice t-shirts."
Share November 20, 1996's comic on:
Wally approaches a man and a woman who are smoking. He says, "Here's my first cigarette ever. I'm looking forward to the many smoking breaks I'm entitled to." Wally says, "I'll probably see you three times a day, just smoking and chatting and enjoying the fresh air!" Wally says, "I assume you light the color-coded end, right?" The man and woman drop their cigarettes and say, "I quit."