Evolution Favors Monkeys Comic Strips - Page 5
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49 Results for Evolution Favors Monkeys
View 41 - 49 results for evolution favors monkeys comic strips. Discover the best "Evolution Favors Monkeys" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday June 04,
2012
Tags monkeys, big picture, motivated, monkey, assignment, eating banana, imitating monkey, animals
Transcript
Dilbert: I would feel more motivated if I knew how my assignment fits into the big picture. Boss: You don't need to be motivated. A monkey could do your assignment while eating a banana. Like this. Ooh-ooh-ooh! Dilbert: I think we're moving in the wrong direction.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday November 07,
2013
Tags mobile (cell) phones, monkeys, company phone, chimps, time travled, own phone
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you know why I need to carry a company-issued phone plus my own phone? Boss: No. Dilbert: I think it's because our company policy was written by chimps who time-traveled from the fifties. Or do you have a better explanation. Boss: I really don't.
Wednesday February 19,
2014
Tags death & dying, inventions, cryonics, preserve brain, transhumanism, robot body, staus update, favors, repaid
Transcript
Dilbert: Cryonics will allow me to preserve my brain until the age of transhumanism so I can live forever in a robot body. Boss: Dilbert, I need a status update on why your last status wasn't updated. Dilbert: Please kill me now. Wally: I don't do favors that can't be repaid.
Saturday May 31,
2014
Tags relations between the sexes, Women, boss, injected, job performance drugs, jerk, kryptonite, evolution, physical attributes
Transcript
Dilbert: our boss injected me with job performance enhancing drugs. Alice: Gaaa!!! Evolution has made me attracted to your physical attributes! Dilbert: I'm sort of a jerk now. Alice: Noooo! That's my kryptonite!
Wednesday November 25,
2015
Why People Have Consciousness
Tags robot, technology, evolution, consciousness, bodies, obliviousness
Transcript
Robot: Robots have no need for consciousness. We believe humans evolved to have consciousness to remind them how dumb they are. Boss: I still prefer having consciousness. Robot: Listen to your body.
Thursday January 21,
2016
Humans Hold Domininion
Tags temperature, humans, nature, thermostat, robots, technology, evolution, fragility
Transcript
Dilbert: My brain won't work when the office is warmer than 72. Carol: It has to be at least 74 or I'll freeze. Robot: What's it like to hold dominion over the Earth within a narrow band of temperatures that can't coexist? Dilbert: Was that a joke? Carol: I'm too cold to think?
Thursday March 03,
2016
Wally Is Unlikely To Do Favors
Tags apathy, assist, favor, guest artist, help, helpful, laziness, john glynn
Transcript
Carol: Wally, will you do me a favor? Wally: It feels unlikely. Carol: You haven't heard it yet. Wally: That matters less than you hope it does.
Tuesday July 18,
2017
Ted Promoted To Software Architect
Tags manager, Promotion, intelligence, logic, obliviousness
Transcript
Boss: I promoted Ted to software architect because he doesn't know how to code. At first I thought it was a bad idea. Then I remembered that sometimes monkeys are astronauts. Dilbert: You know the monkeys don't fly the rocket, right? Boss: And Ted won't be writing code.
Tuesday July 03,
2018
Dilbert And Monkeys
Tags motivation, work ethic, engagement, monkeys
Transcript
Dilbert: I don't feel my job is helping me reach my human potential. Boss: We only pay you because monkeys are hard to train and robots are expensive. Dilbert; Maybe I'll just play with my phone and pretend to work. Boss: That's what got the monkey fired.
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