Executives Comic Strips - Page 5
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135 Results for Executives
View 41 - 50 results for executives comic strips. Discover the best "Executives" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 15,
2011
Tags big business, children drawing & painting, executives, chalky substance, layers of mangement, new layers, p, avp, director, doplphon, inanimate object
Transcript
CEO: I'm adding a few layers of management below me. The new layers are VP, AVP, Director, dolphin, inanimate object, and chalky substance. If you have any issue, I encourage you to talk to the chalky substance.
Tuesday November 01,
2011
Tags employees, executives, non giant situation, shoulders of giants, non giant, business
Transcript
CEO: As your CEO, if I have seen farther, it is only because I stood on the shoulders of giants. Plus whatever is going on over here. Dilbert: That's sort of a non-giant situation. Wally: And I haven't had shoulders since I was ten.
Friday November 04,
2011
Tags comparing a task, criticism, employees, executives, quality is bad, your imagination, time, quality, boss, business
Transcript
Boss: Why did this take so long? Dilbert: You're comparing a task - the likes of which has never been done - to your imagination of how long such things should take. Boss: Well then, the quality is bad. Dilbert: Compared to... ?
Monday November 07,
2011
Tags employees, executives, fought boss, get raise, terrific boss, no credible witnesses, business
Transcript
Boss: I fought with my boss to get you a raise but I lost. I'm always fighting for you behind the scenes. Alice: You're a terrific boss whenever there are no credible witnesses. Boss: Thank you.
Thursday November 10,
2011
Tags employees, executives, busy converting, lower morle, stirring up trouble, departments, undercommunicating, business
Transcript
Carol: He's busy converting everything you did this year into a complete waste of time. After that, he's scheduled to lower our morale. Then he'll be stirring up trouble in other departments. Dilbert: How's tomorrow look? Carol: He'll be under-communicating all day.
Friday November 11,
2011
Tags employees, executives, ignorance (knowledge), technical details, idea, deciosns, people involved, pale and poorly dressed, business
Transcript
Boss: Stop right there. Don't tell me the technical details of your idea. I make my decisions based on what I know about the people involved. Dilbert: You know less about me than you know about my idea. Boss: Is your idea pale and poorly dressed?
Thursday December 29,
2011
Tags conversation, employees, executives, on line class, develop charisma, change the world, die from stree, health issues, business
Transcript
Boss: I'm taking an online class to develop my charisma. Dilbert: Let's see a sample. Boss: Do what I say and you can change the world while you die from stress-related health issues! That felt right. Dilbert: You nailed it.
Thursday August 02,
2012
Tags big business, executives, profits down, increased compensation, incentive, feel underpaid
Transcript
CEO: Profits are way down, but don't worry your little heads about it. The board increased my annual compensation to $60 million. Now I finally have an incentive to do a good job! Un-oh. I'd better hurry because I'm already starting to feel underpaid again.
Saturday September 29,
2012
Tags executives, meetings, new team, company change startegy, meetings turn awkward
Transcript
CEO: My new executive team got together and figured out the source of all of our problems. Dilbert: Is the problem that the executive team keeps changing, and that means the company strategy keeps changing? Wally: Is the problem that all of our meetings turn awkward?
Saturday October 06,
2012
Tags business ethics, executives, poor persons, ceo morality test, new tech, fracking, grinding porr people, high pressure, shale
Transcript
Dogbert: Imagine I invented a new technology for fracking. It involves grinding poor people into a slurry and pumping it into shale at high pressure. Do you see any problems with that? CEO: Not enough shale! CEO Morality Test

