Giant Magnifying Glass Comic Strips - Page 5
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Asok the intern stands behind Alice, who is dressed casually and sits at her computer. Asok says, "I admire your work ethic, Alice. You're even working during your vacation." Alice grimaces and grits her teeth. Asok continues, "It must be hard to remian motivated when you know you can never break though the glass ceiling." Alice grimaces some more. Asok's body dangles from the ceiling through a mass of tiles and wiring. Alice looks up at him and says,"So, it looks like it's just tile after all."
Dobert and Wally stand looking through a window in a door. Books are stacked on the other side. Dogbert says, "The software manuals are locked in this room." Dogbert continues, "I don't let users have manuals, for reasons that could only be described as mean-spirited." Wally presses himself against the glass and says, "Is there any way we can meet half-way on this?" Dogbert says, "Hey, that door didn't always have a window."
A fat Alice looks in the refrigerator and thinks, "Telecommuters can eat any time they want, just like wild animals." Alice lies on the couch and thinks, "There's only one way they'll ever get me back in the cubicle." The Boss looks at a chart and says, "Here's the plan. You'll need tranquilizer darts, a flatbed truck, and giant shoehorn." Asok says, "No harpoon?"
The Boss stands at Alice's front door and screams through a megaphone bullhorn, "Come out of there Alice! We know you're telecommuting!" Alice hides behind the couch and says, "Never! I'm free! You can't make me go back to a cubicle!" A large cubicle surrounds Alice's house. She lets out a small, "Dang."
Dilbert and Dilbert's Mom are in the kitchen. Dilbert says, "My boss told me to buy a bunch of equipment that we don't need." Dilbert's Mom hands Dilbert a piece of cake and a glass of milk. Dilbert says, "That way our budget won't get cut next year." Dilbert's mom says, "I'm so proud of you, son." Dilbert says, "How do you say that with a straight face?" Dilbert's mom says, "I try to imagine you as a navy seal." Dilbert's mom salutes.
Mordac stands in front of a shaking computer. Mordac says, "I am Mordac, the preventer of information services! I summon the Y2K demon!" A little tadpole like demon bursts out of the computer screen. Mordac says, "You're not as big as I imagined. I wonder why everyone is so afraid." Mordac holds the demon. Mordac says, "Cute!" A huge claw comes down to pick him up.
Dilbert is at a cocktail party. A woman says, "You spilled red wine on your shirt." The woman says, "You should dilute it with white wine." A woman throws a glass of wine in Dilberts face and says, "You'll thank me for this later." The woman says, "I think that helped." Another woman approaches. Woman 2 says, "You need salt to absorb it." Woman 2 throws a drink in Dilbert's face and says, "Try my margarita." Women 1 says, "Salt didn't work. Let's try pepper spray." Woman 2 says, "Perhaps lighter fluid..." Woman one sprays pepper spray and says, "No harm in trying." Woman 2 says, "I have one more idea." Dilbert walks into his living room with his shirt burned. dilbert says, "Just once, I'd like to got to a party and not be set on fire." Dogbert says, "There is a stain on your rug."
The Boss approaches Tina and says, "...so Tina, you shouldn't have..." Tina thinks to herself, "I'm in trouble. Must use secret weapon." Tina begins to cry and scream, "WAAH!! WAAH!! Everybody hates me no matter what I do!!" Alice leans over her cubicle and says, "Thanks, that lowered the glass ceiling about a foot." Tina replies, "I plan to marry a rich guy."
Wally and Dilbert are walking down the hall. Dilbert says, "There's Ted. He never sent me the information he promised." Wally and Dilbert stop when they come up to Ted. Dilbert asks, "Why have you ignored my request, Ted?" Ted says, "I was killed by a squadron of giant military squirrels." Wally tells Dilbert, that "He doesn't respect you enough to tell a plausible lie." Dilbert screams, "I demand a PLAUSIBLE lie!" Ted responds, "Okay, maybe I WASN'T killed by giant military squirrels." Ted continues, "But I WAS imprisoned in their secret lair at the center of the earth." Wally and Dilbert are walking away. Wally: "You can't prove that one either way." Dilbert: "He did say it was a "secret" lair."
The boss interviews a disguised Alice. The boss says, "I'm prerpared to offer you $120,000 per year plus a parking space for your gigantic hat." Alice pulls ofer her hat and glasses and says, "Ha ha! It is I, Alice! I accept your offer for a higher-paying job!" Catbert takes of the boss mask and says, "ha ha! It is I, Catbert! I'm not authorized to hire anyone!" Alice says, "#!*ing cat!"