Limited Zeros And Ones Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

139 Results for Limited Zeros And Ones

View 41 - 50 results for limited zeros and ones comic strips. Discover the best "Limited Zeros And Ones" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #reduce airline expense, #weed out dumb ones, #sprint across runway, #cling to plane, #takeoff

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert types, "To reduce airline travel expenses..." Dilbert reads, "Sprint across the runway and cling to plane during takeoff." Catbert thinks, "That will weed out the dumb ones."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #salesman, #questions, #best running shoe, #sneakers are sneakers, #far superior, #expensive ones

View Transcript

Transcript

SALE: DIlbert is standing in a shoe store looking around. Alan, a salesman from behind asks, "Do you have any questions?" Dilbert turns and asks, "What's your best running shoe?" The salesman replies, "They're all the same. Sneakers are sneakers." The store manager interrupts, "Alan, may I have a word with you?" Dilbert continues to inspect the shoes as the manager and salesman are conferencing in the back. The salesman returns and says, "The expensive sneakers are far superior." Dilbert replies, "I'll take them!" The salesman thinks, "I feel like I'm clubbing a baby seal." Dilbert is holding up a sneaker and asks, "Will these work with my old socks?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bikini pics, #dismissal, #technically, #magnetic media, #zeros and ones, #auditors, #40 gigs of pics

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert, the Evil H.R. director says to Wally, "Wally, our auditors found 40 gigabits of bikini pictures on your PC." Wally is thinking the same thing. Catbert says to Wally, "That is grounds for dismissal. How do you plead?" Wally thinks to himself, "Innocent. Technically, they didn't find any pictures." Wally says to Catbert, "What they found were zeroes and ones resting harmlessly on magnetic media." Wally continues, "It was the auditors themselves who activated thoe harmless bits to form pictures on the screen." Wally says to Catbert, "I demand that those godless auditors be fired!" Wally also says, "And if it's not too much trouble, I'd like my zeroes and ones back." After Wally's meeting with Catbert, Dilberts asks Wally "Was justice served?" Wally responds, "It's a gray area."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talking to much, #compensate, #society expectation, #think up ideas, #sit quiet, #nothing good

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert, standing on The Boss' desk, says to The Boss, "You can compensate for your lack of knowledge by talking too much." Catbert says to The Boss, "And don't be limited by society's expectation that you be interesting." The Boss says, "Sometimes I like to sit quietly and think up ideas." Catbert says, "Nothing good can come from that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #83% spat, #customer satisfaction survey, #the lucky ones, #died of dehydration, #results of survey

View Transcript

Transcript

A female employee says to The Boss and Wally, "The results of our customer satisfaction survey are in." The female employee says, "83% spat at their telephones until they died of dehydration." Asok the Intern, The Boss and Wally listen as the female employee continues, "We're calling that group 'The Lucky Ones'."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing acronyms, #wrong ones, #different meaning, #o.r.d>, #b.g.g., #q.r.b., #doesn't require nudity

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the Intern sits at the conference table between the Boss and Dilbert. Asok says, "Per marketing's request, I did an O.R.D. for the B.G.G. that resulted in a Q.R.B." Dilbert and Alice listen as Asok continues, "Then I discovered that marketing uses those acronyms for different things." Asok says, "Their version doesn't require nudity, just to pick one example." The Boss puts his hands to his face in frustration.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #six sigma consulatant, #increased profits, #industry downturns, #flat growth, #industries, #upturned

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Six Sigma Consultant. Dogbert says to The Boss and Dilbert, "Every company that used my six sigma program increased profits." Dogbert continues, "...Except for the ones that were in industry downturns..." Dogbert continues, "...Or flat growth industries... Or industries that only upturned a little bit."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dilbert sales guy, #Card, #no correct info, #new ones, #costs money, #clout, #company, #buy something, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Dilbert the Sales Guy. Dilbert hands a customer his card and says, "Here's my card. None of this information is correct." The customer asks, "Why don't you get new ones?" Dilbert responds, "That costs money." The customer adds, "You must have a lot of clout in your company." Dilbert responds, "Shut up and buy something."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget contraints, #free soda, #no free soda, #near had free soda, #soda stolen, #daily, #boss steals intern

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Due to budget constraints, the company will no longer provide free soda." Dilbert asks, "What free soda? We never had free soda." The Boss replies, "Sure we did. It was in the refrigerator in the break room." The Boss continues, "Every day I'd go in there and get a refreshing beverage." The Boss continues, "The next morning, as if by magic, the soda would be replenished." Asok says, "I brought a soda to work every day for five years only to have it stolen from the refrigerator every time." Everyone stares at The Boss. The Boss replies, "Why didn't you just drink the free ones?" Asok clenches in anger.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #shape no text, #all good ideas used, #green, #creative person, #meeting, #print ads, #brain storming, #limited ideas, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The advertising executive holds up a drawing in front of The Boss and Dilbert. He says, "Your print ads would look like this. It's a shape with no text." The advertising executive continues, "I did some checking and found out that all the good ideas have been used. This is all that's left." The Boss asks, "Can it be green?" The advertising executive responds, "Whoa! Who's the creative person here?"