Miss Mulput Comic Strips - Page 5
62 Results for Miss Mulput
View 41 - 50 results for miss mulput comic strips. Discover the best "Miss Mulput" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share April 20, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "What's taking you so long to fix the control management system?" Dilbert says, "Your leadership has taught me to give you laughably unrealistic timelines, then blame others when I miss deadlines." The Boss says, "You're not even doing that right." Dilbert says, "I guess I need more of your leadership."
Share November 19, 2010's comic on:
Dilbert says, "We launched our revamped website today." Dilbert says, "All of the technology we used is already obsolete and every vendor we hired is out of business." Dilbert says, "?And it just crashed." Dilbert says, "I miss the days when we had brief windows of success."
Share November 23, 2010's comic on:
Dilbert says, "The request we got for a quote is vague, and the deadline for our response is tomorrow." Dilbert says, "If I ask for clarity, we'll miss the the deadline. If I don't, our bid will either be below our cost or too high to win." Dilbert says, "Which path of certain failure do you prefer?" The Boss says, "I like the one that makes you work the hardest."
Share December 15, 2011's comic on:
Boss: We told our Elbonian factory to be more green, so they turned off their AC units. The heat caused the elastic bands in their hats to stretch until their eyes were covered. And that's why we'll miss our ship date. CEO: They say you shouldn't shoot the messenger, but no one warns you how much you'll want to.
Share November 11, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Execution is a game of inches! You miss 100% of the shots you don't take! Innovation is everyone's full-time job! Be the dog, not the tail! Excellence is the only market that isn't crowded! Why don't any of you look inspired by my leadership? Wally: I died on the inside years ago. Now I'm just a fleshy container full of coffee and resentment. This guy was born without a soul. The she-devil at the end is the chemical formula for hatred. Catbert: Did you get through to them? Boss: I drilled until I hit bile.
Share February 28, 2013's comic on:
Boss: I'm what you call a natural leader because of my communication skills. Dilbert: Did I miss the context for this conversation? I have no idea why you're talking. Boss: Why does everything you say annoy me? Is it because you're a great communicator?
Share June 19, 2013's comic on:
Dilbert: You've given me so many projects that I have two ways to fail. I can either miss all of my deadlines or I can reduce the quality of my work to rubbish. Which do you prefer? Boss: The class I took in active non-listening is really paying off. I need this by Tuesday.
Share August 06, 2013's comic on:
Coworker: Are you married? Wally: I don't have a wife, but I do have wifi. I find that it meets all of my social and intellectual needs. Coworker: Do you miss the warmth of human contact? Wally: Never tried it. Sounds problematic.
Share December 21, 2015's comic on:
Team Interview. Dilbert: To be perfectly honest, Bob, you are unqualified to work here. Bob: Your boss already hired me. He told me to talk to you so you'd feel included in the decision. Wait... did I miss a huge red flag? Dilbert: We all did. Welcome to the team.
Share March 01, 2016's comic on:
Asok: I miss the freedom I had as an Uber driver. This job feels like being trapped under rubble. Wally: We old-timers have a name for that feeling. Asok: What is it? Wally: "Better than average."