Most Diabolical Work Comic Strips - Page 5
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1000 Results for Most Diabolical Work
View 41 - 50 results for most diabolical work comic strips. Discover the best "Most Diabolical Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday July 11,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #supervisor, #career, #path, #secetary, #years, #doctor, #expect, #hard work
Transcript
Dilbert says to a man at a desk, "As your new supervisor, I want to discuss your career path." Dilbert asks, "You're a secretary now, but what do you want to be in two years?" The man replies, "A famous actor . . . Or maybe a doctor." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . I don't think I can help you here . . ." The man replies, "Oh, right, but you'll expect me to work hard for you."
Friday August 17,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #accounting, #engineer, #breathed, #air, #irreversible, #bad, #attitude, #part, #training, #bradley
Transcript
Dilbert says to a witch, "No! You can't force me to work in accounting! I'm an engineer!" The witch replies, "It's too late . . ." The witch explains, "You came . . . You breathed the air . . . The change is irreversible . . . Bradley will train you." Spikes grow out of Dilbert's back and he begins to turn into a troll. Dilbert says, "I'm starting to get a bad attitude about this job . . ." Bradley the Troll replies, "Good. I can skip that part of the training."
Saturday August 18,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #reflect, #create, #erasing, #accounting, #budget, #bradley, #troll, #witch, #budget report
Transcript
The caption says, "Dilbert is forced to work in the accounting department." Dilbert has turned into a troll. Bradley the Troll says, "First you must understand how numbers change reality . . ." Bradley continues, "Some people think numbers merely REFLECT reality . . . But we believe that numbers CREATE reality." Bradley shows Dilbert a room where an overseer cracks a whip at several other trolls. Bradley says, "This our budget-erasing room . . ." The supervisor yells, "Erase faster!!"
Monday August 20,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #finances, #financial troll, #witch, #bradley, #budget report, #budget, #erasing
Transcript
Dilbert: Great... Not only am I being forced to work in the accounting department, but I'm slowly turning into a troll. Wait a minute... This is the budget for the accounting department itself... What happens if I erase it? Bradley: Boss!!? Boss!!? Witch: Help me! I'm melting! Aaagh!!
Wednesday September 12,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #foreign, #business, #country, #lost, #work, #perfect, #example, #Dogbert
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a bench with a man who says, ". . . I'll tell you why we're losing to foreign business: the workers in this country have lost their work ethic." Dogbert asks, "Why aren't you working now?" The man replies, "Well, now, this is a PERFECT example of what I'm trying to tell you."
Monday September 17,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #world, #pinecone, #fresh, #lemon, #scent, #planet, #Dogbert, #warm, #lightning
Transcript
The caption says, "For years Mother Nature had been dropping hints about the ozone problem." The earth and the moon are shown from a distance. Dilbert sprays an aerosol can of air freshener and says, "Aaah . . . Pinecone fresh lemon scent." A flash of lightning enters through the ceiling and shocks Dilbert. The caption says, "The direct approach would work no better." Dilbert's clothes are burned and clouds of smoke rise from his body. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Is it unseasonably warm today?"
Thursday September 20,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #mother nature, #earth, #planet, #recycle, #newspaper, #dolphins, #acid rain
Transcript
Dilbert: Please, mother nature, don't make me leave the earth!! Mother Nature: Don't talk back to me!! I work hard to give you a lovely planet, and look what you do to it! Dilbert: But... But I recycle newspapers! Mother Nature: Oh, well, excuse me. I guess the dolphins are safe, thanks to you. Dilbert: And I've noticed less acid rain since I started.
Tuesday October 09,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #absence, #mother, #nature, #absence dog, #cloned, #sick, #woman, #employee, #leave of absence
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. A woman says, "Dilbert, I need to fill out an absence report for the days you missed work." Dilbert replies, "Well, Mother Nature got mad and had wild deer kill me. But my garbage man and my dog cloned me back to life." The woman says, "I'll put 'sick.'"
Thursday October 18,
1990
Tags #judicial proceedings, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #lawyer, #jury duty, #kill, #axe, #civic duty
Transcript
The defense lawyer says to the jury, "My client has been accused of the most heinous crimes." The attorney points to a man holding an ax and wearing an executioner's hat. The attorney asks, "But does this look like a person who could kill??" Dogbert, who is sitting next to Dilbert, raises his hand and says, "Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!!"
Wednesday October 24,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #rambling, #questions, #focus, #johnson, #fetch, #stick, #achieve, #sacrificing, #customer, #the boss
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and another employee sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Okay, the staff meeting is over. Does anybody have any meaningless rambling questions? Johnson?" Johnson asks, "How can we work as a team to achieve total quality without sacrificing customer focus?" The Boss asks, "How many people would like to see me make Johnson fetch this stick?" Everyone raises their hands.