No Longer Communtes Comic Strips - Page 5
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102 Results for No Longer Communtes
View 41 - 50 results for no longer communtes comic strips. Discover the best "No Longer Communtes" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 28,
2006
Monday June 18,
2007
Tags save planet, bad career advice, fired, no longer communtes, licencse, sell realestate
Transcript
Dilbert: One way to save the planet is to drive a fuel-efficient car. "Another way is to give bad advice to some idiot so he gets fired and no longer commutes." Dogbert: "You should get a license to sell real estate." "Really?"
Tuesday October 23,
2007
Tags fascinating internet, physical world, find joy, hot on iphone, back to cucbilce
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't do my work because the internet is too fascinating. "The physical world no longer hold my interest. I find job only on the internet." "Can I take a hit on your iphone before I go back to my cubicle?" Catbert: "No."
Wednesday October 24,
2007
Tags therapy session, no longer care, human interaction, too sahllow, predciatable, outdoor actvities
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm addicted to the internet. "I no longer care for direct human interaction. It's too shallow and predictable." Therapist: "Maybe you shoudl try some outdoor activities." "I saw that coming."
Sunday December 02,
2007
Tags coworkers, cubicles, question, busy, promise of speed, five seconds, name calling, no time, disrespect, no help
Transcript
Tina; "Do you have a minute?" Dilbert: "No." Tina: "This will just take a second." Dilbert: "No it won't." Tina: "It's real quick." Dilbert: Never is. Tina: "You have my word that it will take no longer than five seconds." Dilbert: "Okay. Go." Tina: "Oh, good. So, I was walking by and I thought maybe I should stop and ask you something because..." Dilbert: "Time's up." Tina: "Jerk" Dilbert: "Liar."
Saturday May 10,
2008
Tags antique thing, defective prodcuts, free up funds, larger volume, longer test, sales force, quality control budget
Transcript
The Boss says, "I cut the quality control budget to free up funds to increase our sales force." Dilbert says, "So your strategy is to sell a larger volume of defective products?" The Boss says, "The quality will be fine. The tests will just take longer." Dilbert says, "So...It's an antique thing?"
Thursday June 26,
2008
Tags boss calls, vacation, counter productive policies, victims of ignorance
Transcript
The Boss says, "Is everything okay since I left for vacation?" Carol says, "Better than ever." Carol says, "Counterproductive policies have been eliminated, and we are no longer victims of ignorance." The Boss thinks, "Man, I don't like the sound of that."
Thursday July 31,
2008
Tags plaintiff, favor of, weasel, unanimous, wants to leave, juror, jury, jurors box, legal
Transcript
JUROR: "We find in favor of the plaintiff dude." "There was some discussion about which one is the plaintiff - the complainy guy or the weasel." "But we were unanimous in not wanting to be here any longer." Another man says, "Aye!"
Tuesday March 31,
2009
Tags new employee, annoying, frustrated, cruel
Transcript
The boss says, "I hired a woman who laughs too much." Woman says, "Ha ha ha ha ha!" The boss says, "She'll be in the cubicle next to yours." Woman says, "Wa-ha ha ha ha!" Dilbert says, "I no longer worry about life passing too quickly."
Tuesday May 19,
2009
Tags new employee, bragging, education, ridiculous, doubting, annoyed
Transcript
Man says, "I have an MBA from a top business school." Man says, "I'm a management expert because I read case studies about businesses that were in completely different situations." Man says, "Wait a minute. Why does that suddenly seem ridiculous?" Dilbert says, "Will this take much longer?"