Personal Lifestley Engineer Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

387 Results for Personal Lifestley Engineer

View 41 - 50 results for personal lifestley engineer comic strips. Discover the best "Personal Lifestley Engineer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #class, #career, #options, #engineer, #retire, #major, #catastrophe, #consultants, #project, #teams, #real, #crush, #marketing, #donuts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a classroom of children, "The goal of every engineer is to retire without getting blamed for a major catastrophe." Dilbert continues, "Engineers prefer to work as 'consultants' on project teams. That way there's no real work, blame is spread across the group, and you can crush any idea from marketing!" Dilbert continues, ". . . And sometimes you get free donuts just for showing up!" The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #broadcast, #message, #computer, #geeks, #declare, #leader, #empire, #virtiual, #electronic, #venod, #exploiting, #leadership, #tradition

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk chair and types on the computer, "This is Dogbert, with a broadcast e-mail message to all computer geeks . . ." A man reads Dogbert's message on his computer. The message says, "I declare myself to be your leader, and I name my empire the 'Virtual Electronic Nation of Dogbert,' Venod for short." Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder and says, "I assume you'll be exploiting the simple people of Venod for personal gain." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, it's a leadership tradition."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #product

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert says to Dogbert, "I think I've hit upon a brilliant new direction for expanding our product line." Ratbert says, "I call them 'Carpet Patch Kids.' Each one is made from carpet and has its own name!" Ratbert says to the carpet doll as he walks away, "Don't feel bad, Raquel. I don't think he meant it as a personal attack."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #design, #volunteers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert look at a model of Dilbert's Bioworld experiment. Dilbert says, "I've completed the design for Bioworld. Have you selected the volunteers?" Dogbert replies, "Yes." Dilbert reads a list and says, "So . . . These are the brave people whose lives will depend on my ability to engineer a balanced ecology." Dilbert says, "Seven car salesmen plus Ratbert . . ." Dogbert says, "Coincidence."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jury, #trial, #Dogbert, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to the jury, "Although the insanity defense does not apply to my client, we have something just as good." Dogbert points to Dilbert and explains, "My client is an 'engineer savant.' He understands technology but nothing else." Dogbert pulls Dilbert's foot out from under the table and says, "As evidence, I submit my client's white socks, complete with the sock protector and auxiliary writing tools."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #Wally, #computer, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk in front a window thinking, "I've shouted my way into a job and a corner office. Now I need an empire." Dogbert says as he types, "I'll start a task force around some hot buzzwords. Later I'll convert the people into my own division." Dilbert says to Wally, "Hey, there's a 'Palmtop Personal Multimedia' task force being formed!" Wally replies, "That one's gonna fill up quick."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #alice, #volunteering, #resume

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "Thank you all for volunteering for my task force on 'palmtop personal multimedia.'" Dogbert continues, "I'm sure that you all have a common vision about this project . . ." Dogbert continues, "Specifically, you think it will look good on your resumes while being too futuristic to generate any real work." Wally thinks, "Mother lode."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #Wally, #the boss, #worklife balance

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "I just realized I can double your workload and there's nothing you can do about it." The Boss continues, "You're lucky to have jobs in today's economy! You'll gladly sacrifice your personal lives for no extra pay!" Dilbert replies, "But at least our hard work will lead to promotion opportunities." The Boss says, "You're so cute. I wish I had a camera right now."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #garbageman, #designs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to the garbage man, "I wish you'd realize that you're a garbage man, not an engineer. I don't need your suggestions on my designs." Dilbert looks over the garbage man's shoulder and says, "What are you writing? Oh yeah, as if I care." The garbage man hands Dilbert the corrections and says, "If you need help understanding that, the paper boy will be by soon. I've been working with him."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #worklife balance, #japanese, #sleeping, #productivity, #commuting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss points to a wall of circular openings and tells Dilbert, "I borrowed a Japanese work custom - sleeping tubes!" The Boss explains, "No more wasted time commuting. If you keel over from exhaustion we'll just cram you into a sleep tube." Dilbert asks, "Which tube is mine?" The Boss replies, "You don't get a personal tube unless you're employee of the week."