Pick Up Line Comic Strips - Page 5

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221 Results for Pick Up Line

View 41 - 50 results for pick-up line comic strips. Discover the best "Pick Up Line" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, alice, business meeting

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The Boss, Dilbert, Alice and another employee sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Does anybody have any questions about our plan? Ask me anything - there are no 'stupid' questions." A man asks, "If you crossed the international date line on your birthday, would you still get presents?" The Boss thinks, "Oh great . . . There ARE stupid questions and I don't know the answers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bob, Dogbert, money, shopping, christmas, man, wedgie

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Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Remember, Bob, it is better to give to Dogbert than to receive . . . Especially at Christmas." Bob replies, "But I don't have any income . . . Except for the coins people drop when I give them wedgies." Bob gives a man a wedgie and money falls out of his pockets. Bob thinks, "It seems like exactly the wrong season to pick up the pace on this sort of thing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bun, eat a bug, evalution, motivation, performance evaluation

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The Boss: Your performance this year was 'fair'. But I'll raise your appraisal to "excellent" if you'll eat a bug. Wally: Say what? The Boss: eat a bug. The Boss: I didn't have much luck with the other management techniques so Im kinda winging it now. Wally:Do i get to pick the bug? The boss: Its way more motivational if I pick the bug. Dilbert: How did your evaluation go? Wally: MXLT Next! Dilbert: Do I get a bun? The boss: You guys are never happy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags book publishing, reject people, dismiss lifes work, gesture, witty comment, not a people person, dog, animals

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"I'm going to start my own book publishing company so I can reject people all day long." "I'll dismiss their life's work with a gesture and a witty comment." "Bottom line, I'm just not a people person." "I've noticed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coffeee iv, exercise, given up sleep, nutrition, intravenous, caffeine, main line java, health

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Dilbert: Hows the job going, Anne? Anne: Musch better, now that Ive given up sleep, exercise and nutrition in favor of coffee. Dilbert: Any adverse effects? Anne: This is the aorta of the last person who asked me that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags client server, project, reasoning, six minutes, time line, world wide operations, understand

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The Boss: I put together a time line for your project. I started by reasoning that anything I don't understand is easy to do. Phase one: design a client-server architecture for our world wide operations time: six minutes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags donate blood, good for society, too comepetetive, thirsty

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Wally and a man stand in line at the blood drive. The man says, "I don't mind donating blood . . . It's good for society . . ." The man continues, "But I'm worried that our company is getting too competitive about how much we give compared to other companies." Dilbert leaves the blood drive saying, "Man, I'm thirsty!!" His head and body have shrunk to half their normal size.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags form a vidion, concept for requirements, startman, mission critical, functions, quality vectors, fine line, participation, and mockery

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The Boss sits at a conference table with Wally and Dilbert. The Boss says, "Maybe we could form a vision statement of our concepts for requirements." Wally says, "Or maybe we can bound our strawman by the mission-critical functions of our quality vector!" As they walk away, Dilbert says to Wally, "You're shameless." Wally responds, "There's a fine line between participation and mockery."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert the pr consultant, no letter q, opportunity assignement, public, shipped keyboards

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Dogbert, the Boss and Dilbert sit around a conference table. Dogbert says, "You shipped keyboards with no letter 'Q.' The public wants somebody to take responsibility." The Boss raises both arms and shouts, "Ooh ooh, pick me, pick me!!" Dilbert says, "Responsibility means blame." The Boss says, "Great . . . It's like the time I got burned on that 'opportunity' assignment."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hobby geography, twirling wedgie, dinosaur

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Dogbert sits at a table signing copies of his book. A customer says, "My hobby is geography. Would you sign my book to each of the continents by name?" Dogbert says to the man, "Are you aware that my book recommends a twirling wedgie for people who ask for too much?" A hand reaches toward the man. Bob the Dinosaur twirls the man over his head as he gives him a wedgie. Bob says, "We find the line moves faster if I do this to the first customer."