Plans Comic Strips - Page 5
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62 Results for Plans
View 41 - 50 results for plans comic strips. Discover the best "Plans" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday June 16,
2012
Tags business ethics, embarrass your compnay, etiquette & ethics, local debauchery, personal behavior, pollute ground water, pollution, reflect poorly, elbonia
Transcript
Wally: Where can I go to enjoy some of the local debauchery? Elbonian: Aren't you worried that your personal behavior will reflect poorly on your company? Wally: How can I embarrass a company that plans to pollute your groundwater? Elbonian: Say what? Wally in Elbonia
Tuesday October 16,
2012
Tags business ethics, wages, saved company millions, no bonus, ceo plans, 500 million, acquisitions, go team, money
Transcript
Boss: Alice, your great work this year saved the company $10 million. But I can't give you a bonus because our CEO plans to write down $500 million for acquisitions gone bad. Go team!
Thursday April 18,
2013
Tags conversation, deception, political reasons, irrational nonsense, filter
Transcript
Boss: Your plan is technically sound, but I have to reject it for political reasons I can't share. Dilbert: I'll come back with some plans that are irrational nonsense and see if they make it past your filter. Boss: I'll always wonder if there was a better way to handle that.
Saturday October 05,
2013
Tags employees, progress, policy, promote from within, better plans, business
Transcript
Boss: Our policy is to promote from within. Dilbert: How will you backfill the jobs of the people you promoted? Boss: From within. Dilbert: That's one of your better plans.
Sunday April 20,
2014
Tags cleaning, engineers, coal break room, highest priority, mold grow, mutating bacteria, rapidly eveolved, sentient being, fueled by lunch, learned languages, job in hr, plans on firing, inappropriate websites
Transcript
Tina: You need to clean the break room refrigerator more often. Wally: We're engineers. We only do the highest priority tasks. Tina: Mold started to grow in there. Wally: That's no big deal. Tina: Bacteria caused the mold to mutate. Wally: So what? Tina: It rapidly evolved into a sentient being fueled by forgotten lunches. Then it learned language skills and got a job in Human Resources. It plans to frame you for viewing inappropriate websites at work and then fire you. Wally: This sort of thing usually works itself out.
Monday April 28,
2014
Tags business people, work ethic, new line, products, business plan, good track record, useful, accurate, make up numbers
Transcript
Boss: I need you to write a business plan for our new line of products. Dilbert: Is that because business plans have a good track record of being useful and accurate? Boss: No, it's nothing like that. Dilbert: Good, because I plan to make up all of the numbers.
Wednesday November 05,
2014
Tags ceos, leadership, obliviousness, public speaking, media, zero sales, staff resigned, fireing, wisdom, Entertainment
Transcript
Catbert: Our sales dropped to zero because you told the media we have a better product coming soon. And 95% of the staff resigned because you announced plans to fire 50% of them. Maybe it would be better if you never spoke to anyone again. CEO: How would people get my wisdom.
Friday December 18,
2015
The Smart Plans
Saturday July 23,
2016
Asok Is An Introvert
Tags introversion, introvert, loneliness, social situation
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you have plans for the weekend? Asok: No, I"m an introvert. I'll probably experience despair and loneliness while being jealous of people who have substance abuse problems. Dilbert: Yeah, me too. Asok: This conversation is dragging on too long.
Sunday November 05,
2017
Tags lying, deception, secret, choosing, choices
Transcript
Man: Don't tell Dilbert I told you what he plans to do. Alice: What if he asks me how I found out? Man: You should lie. Alice: You have given me two bad choices. If I don't change my plans based on this new information, I'll have big problems. But if I act on it, Dilbert will ask me how I knew, and that will turn me into a liar. Man: Yes, those are your only options. Alice: Unless... Man: There's no "unless." You have only two options. Just two! Alice: Have you ever seen the view from the roof?


