Positive Attitude Comic Strips - Page 5

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86 Results for Positive Attitude

View 41 - 50 results for positive attitude comic strips. Discover the best "Positive Attitude" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2006's comic on:


Tags #assistant, #mood, #frustration, #ignore, #ignoring, #attitude, #psychology

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"Carol, I need some three-ring binders and a reservation for the conference room on Thursday." "I don't like the way you asked, so I'm going to make a phone call until you give up and leave." "Yeah, the big jerk is still standing there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2006's comic on:


Tags #art, #artist, #modern art, #expression, #obtuse, #con, #scheme, #money, #fake

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My idea is to drape a huge tarp over the hideous sculpture in the courtyard. "My message will be that art is as much about the negative space as the positive." "Plus it's not really art unless someone is winning."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2006's comic on:


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Today I will keep a positive attitude about life. "I canceled your project so I can use the budget to remodel my office." "Yay life!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2007's comic on:


Tags #career counselor, #no marketable talent, #keep positive, #not going to change, #unemployable

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Dogbert, career counselor DOgbert: "You have no marketable talent." "You're totally unemployable and that's not going to change." "The important thing is to keep a positive attitude."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2007's comic on:


Tags #employee orientation, #no time, #exercise, #long hours, #trans fat, #positive note, #payroll dedcution, #service, #save money, #dirt, #cubicle, #burial site, #health

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Employee Orientation Catbert: "This job will leave you with no time for exercise." "You will work long hours and consume trans fats until you are shaped like this." "On a positive note, our payroll deduction service allows you to save money for dirt to turn your cubicle into a burial site."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2007's comic on:


Tags #develop good attitude, #job, #invigorated, #busy work, #relabel, #toner cartridges, #business

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Asok: "I'm trying to develop a good attitude about my job." "Every morning I tell myself I am invigorated by busywork." The Boss: "Asok, I need you to relabel the toner cartridges." Asok: "Woo-hoo!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2008's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #hr person, #evil director, #bad attitude, #project, #corpse of misery, #donated brain, #gum museum, #mental imbalance, #clarity, #irrational, #employee moral festival, #won meeting, #business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: Your boss says you have a bad attitude. Dilbert: That's because my project is a flailing corpse of misery, and my boss donated his brain to a gum museum. If I had a good attitude in this situation, it would be a sign of a mental imbalance. My bad attitude is proof that I am thinking clearly. Are you going to compliment me on my clarity or demand I be irrational? CatBert: I'm putting you in charge of the employee morale festival. Dilbert: I have a sudden urge to grab you by the tail and beat myself to death. Catbert: That's how I know I won the meeting.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2008's comic on:


Tags #cell phone product, #form of radiation, #negative effect, #head turn red, #weight loss, #new cell phone, #positive spin

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The Boss says, "We have a little problem with our new cell phone product." "It gives off a form of radiation that has a negative effect on the user." Dilbert says, "How bad is it?" The Boss says, "Well, it makes your head turn red, and you lose weight." A person says, "Hey, what is up with our new cell phone? I feel different." A janitor says, "Can I borrow your friend?" The Boss says, "I don't see why not." The person says, "AAAIII!!!" GLUB GLUB GLUB The Boss says, "Anyway, see if you can put a positive spin on that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2009's comic on:


Tags #etiquette & ethics, #lying

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The boss says, "Asok, we're getting killed by bad customer reviews online." The boss says, "I need you to pretend you're several different customers and write positive reviews." Asok says, "Doesn't that break some sort of law?" The boss says, "Heck no. it only crosses some ethical boundaries and violates the term of service for the web site." The boss says, "And depending on your religious views, it might be a hiccup on your way to paradise." The boss says, "But I'm almost certain there won't be any jail time or eternal damnation." Asok says, "Well...okay." The boss says, "And be sure to defame our competitors."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #criticism, #ridicule, #stupidity, #ignoring, #distracted, #work, #desk, #forgetting

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the Boss says, "Why didn't you get my input on the vendor selection?" Dilbert says, "I tried, but?" Dilbert says, "You're so easily distracted that for all practical purposes you're nothing but furniture with coffee breath." The Boss says, "Where were we?" Dilbert says, "You were praising me for my good attitude."