Prove A Negative Comic Strips - Page 5

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82 Results for Prove A Negative

View 41 - 50 results for prove a negative comic strips. Discover the best "Prove A Negative" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attorney, #contact, #cubicle opened, #dividing up workspace, #eyebrows, #my client, #prove, #naked, #got him for everything, #legal

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"A cubicle vacancy opened up, so I'll be moving out of here." "My attorney will contac you about dividing up our workspace property." "Next, can you proves that you have both eyebrows before you met my client?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negative commentray, #blog, #fire, #freedom of speech, #our founding fathers, #spitting on graves, #not good work, #final paycheck

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"Ted, you've been saying negative things about the company in your personal blog. We have to fire you." "I have freedom of speech. It's my constitutional right to say whatever I want." "If you fire me for my opinions, you'll be spitting on the graves of our founding fathers." "I'll get the best lawyer that money can't buy, and fight you all the way to the Supreme Court!" "The only way you can legally fire me is if my work isn't good." "Ooh. I probably said too much here." "Your work isn't good. Here's your final paycheck." "Stupid founding fathers."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #360 degree reviews, #peer input, #negative review, #peer review, #next raise, #annoymous, #realization

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"It's almost time for our 360 degree reviews." "That means your compensation is partly dependent on the input of your peers." "I'd hate to see something bad happen to you, like, I don't know...maybe a negative review." "I've taken the liberty of calculating the value of a good peer review in terms of your next raise." "Pay me half of that amount, and I'll guarantee a positive outcome." "How would I know you gave me a good one? Peer reviews are anonymous." "What is it about me that makes people so distrusting?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #art, #artist, #modern art, #expression, #obtuse, #con, #scheme, #money, #fake

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My idea is to drape a huge tarp over the hideous sculpture in the courtyard. "My message will be that art is as much about the negative space as the positive." "Plus it's not really art unless someone is winning."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Don't worry, Alice. Stinky Pete is here to work closely with you on that technical problem." "I like to begin by releasing all of my negative energy." BRRAAAP! "AAEEII!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"When do I need to give the specs to the programmers?" "They don't need them." "Why? Is it because they already know what to do?" "Yes, exactly. They know how to do that part." "Well, now I have a difficult choice." "I could call the programmers, prove you wrong, and suffer the consequences in a thousand subtle ways..." "Or I could do nothing and wait to get hosed for not providing the specs on time." "Geez. You complain when I don't give you choices too."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #business, #cars, #news, #sales, #sarcasm

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Boss: We're going to take a page from the automaker's playbooks. Automakers prove their design skills by creating concept cars that will never go into production. Then they prove their management skills by producing cars that are less attractive than corrective underpants. Tomorrow we're holding a press conference to show the world our own concept product. Our concept product can stop global warming and wax your back at the same time. Man: Can it actually do those things? Boss: Why do you care? Man: So...actually it's just a huge waste of our time. Boss: You have a mighty low opinion of news.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #explanation for working, #malicious, #prove stupid, #unemployment benefits, #working

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Catbert: Wally, I have to fire you for posting a comic comparing managers to drunken lemurs. You won't be eligible for unemployment benefits unless you can prove you were stupid as opposed to malicious. Can you prove you're stupid? Wally: Is thereanother explanation for working here?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone product, #form of radiation, #negative effect, #head turn red, #weight loss, #new cell phone, #positive spin

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The Boss says, "We have a little problem with our new cell phone product." "It gives off a form of radiation that has a negative effect on the user." Dilbert says, "How bad is it?" The Boss says, "Well, it makes your head turn red, and you lose weight." A person says, "Hey, what is up with our new cell phone? I feel different." A janitor says, "Can I borrow your friend?" The Boss says, "I don't see why not." The person says, "AAAIII!!!" GLUB GLUB GLUB The Boss says, "Anyway, see if you can put a positive spin on that."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #conference, #meeting, #greed, #corruption, #illegal, #business

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CEO summit Dogbert says, "Obviously it's illegal for companies to rig bids." Dogbert says, "But interestingly, the crime is nearly impossible to prove when nothing is written down." Dogbert says, "I'd like you to meet Eddie. Pay close attention to how many times he stomps his hoof."