Pulls Knife Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

48 Results for Pulls Knife

View 41 - 48 results for pulls knife comic strips. Discover the best "Pulls Knife" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pulls knife, pleasure to meet, psycho hillbilly, crazy old coot, network design engineers

View Transcript

Transcript

The psycho hillbilly raises his knife at Asok and says, "Hi. It's a pleasure to meet you." Asok jumps back and exclaims, "Gaaa!!" Asok says, "You look like a psycho hillbilly" The hillbilly replies, "Thank you very much." The hillbilly continues, "We network design engineers like to dress with a theme." Asok asks, "May I call you crazy old coot?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags five year plan, compared to plan, dust heap, history, education

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss pulls a file out of his drawer and thinks, "What's this? It's our old five- year plan!" He opens the file and thinks, "I wonder how we did compared to the plan." The Boss approaches Dilbert and asks, "Have we relegated Microsoft to the dust heap of history?" Dilbert responds, "Shhh! They might hear!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags suspicious, new ceo, trailer park, burglar, mergers, acquisitions, accounting, wallet and watch

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss introduces a man outfitted in a burglar suit, holding a sack. The Boss says, "This is our new CEO, Rufus T. Skwerrel. His first job was trailer park burglar. The Boss continues, "But thanks to a series of mergers and acquisitions, not to mention suspicious accounting, here we are." The Boss asks Rufus, "Would you like to say a few words?" Rufus pulls a knife out on Asok and says, "Wallet and watch."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human resources, cubicle, grim reeper, layoffs, stranger, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Human Resources is sending a designated firer to do layoffs." The Boss turns quickly and waves his hands in an employee's face. The Boss says, "If a stranger approaches your cubicle, it means you're toast!" The employee exclaims, "Gaaa!!!" A hooded weasel with a knife approaches Carol. He says, "Hell-o-o-o, Carol." He pauses and then continues, "Can you tell me where Ted sits?" Carol exclaims, "Gaaa!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags body in body, knife, one will die, recommends killing, save one life only, one or the other

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is standing on a stool. The Boss is sitting across from him; the consultick is still inside The Boss' torso. Dogbert says, "I can either save your life or the consultant's life, but one of you will die." The Boss replies, "Give us a minute to discuss it." The Boss stands and says, "He recommends that you kill me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags book deal, ghost writer, dog, publishing, first draft, quotes, knife, dying, dead, wave hand, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Publishing Dogbert says, "I'm assigning a ghost writer to tighten up your first draft." Dogbert says, "Technically, he's not a ghost yet. He's just a guy who lost a knife fight." Asok says, "How long do I have to wait?" Dogbert says, "If you're in a hurry, steer him toward the window."

Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, bad advice, diversification, investment, obliviousness, stock market, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you have any investment tips? Boss: You're asking the right person! I can teach you how to time the market, catch a falling knife, and invest in a dead-cat bounce. That's my system. Asok: What about diversification? Boss: I don't invest in anything I can't spell.

Critics Not Intelligent

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Critics Not Intelligent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, office workers, employees, smart, critics, agreement, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i've noticed that none of my critics are intelligent. smart people always seem to agree with me. dilbert: what makes you think they are smart? alice: because they agree with me. i have to give you a maskless "duh" for that. alice pulls off face mask: duh!