Reading Zero Comic Strips - Page 5

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241 Results for Reading Zero

View 41 - 50 results for reading zero comic strips. Discover the best "Reading Zero" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #advertising, #company, #underestimate, #intelligence, #apology, #accepted

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "I'm going to open the 'Dogbert Advertising Company.'" Dogbert continues, "Apparently, people will believe just about anything that makes them feel good." Dilbert replies, "Hey, don't underestimate our intelligence." Dogbert says, "I could never underestimate you intelligence." Dilbert says, "Apology accepted."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #school, #people, #common, #sense, #learn, #bingo

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to open a school for people with no common sense." Dilbert asks, "Who would pay to go to a school that teaches something that can't be learned?" Dilbert continues, "Except maybe people with no common sense . . ." Dogbert replies, "Bingo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #intelligent, #creature, #room, #planet, #smarter, #people, #hobby, #sarcasm

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Don't think of yourself as the least intelligent creature in this room . . ." Dogbert continues, "If you consider the entire planet, you're smarter than literally hundreds of people." Dilbert asks, "Have you ever considered taking up a hobby?" Dogbert replies, "This IS my hobby."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #testing, #theory, #advertising, #sell, #anything, #asked, #thing, #least, #desired, #earth, #ladies, #date, #quantities, #men and women

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper. Dogbert enters and says, "I'm testing my theory that good advertising can sell anything." Dogbert continues, "So I asked myself 'What is the thing LEAST desired on earth?'" A woman looks at a billboard with Dilbert's picture on it. The billboard says, "Ladies! Date a Dilbert call 510-803-9338. Quantities are limited." The woman says, "Hmm . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #vegetarians, #march, #capitol, #protest, #killing, #animals, #mile, #drive, #letters, #revolution, #people, #only, #plastic, #wooden, #shoes, #avoid, #Dilbert

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Dogbert stands on a ladder and addresses a crowd. Dogbert says, "Vegetarians, we must march to the capitol to protest the killing of animals!" A man in the audience says, "That's a mile away." Another man asks, "Can we drive instead?" A woman asks, "Or maybe write letters?" Back at home, Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Never lead a revolution of people who only own plastic and wooden shoes." Dilbert replies, "I try to avoid it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #laughed, #joke, #hard, #inhaled, #snorted, #time, #choked, #spit, #lurch, #bonk, #head, #coffee, #table, #ignoring, #life, #boring

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Remember the time you laughed at your own joke so hard that you inhaled and snorted at the same time?" Dogbert continues, "Then you choked on your own spit, which caused you to lurch over and bonk your head on the coffee table . . ." Dogbert asks, "Who says your life is boring?" Dilbert replies, "I'm ignoring you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #read, #books, #televsision, #Dogbert, #educational, #sound, #pictures, #challenging, #television, #convey, #complex, #entire, #story, #discovered, #scratch, #global, #warming, #poodle

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Dogbert sits on the hassock watching tv. Dilbert says, "You should read books instead of watching television all the time, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert replies, "Books are more educational because they don't have any sound or pictures." Dilbert continues, "And books are challenging because it takes hours to read something that television could convey with one image." Dilbert continues, "And books make you think because they have more complex plots." Dilbert continues, "In fact, you can read entire books without even figuring out what the story was about." Dilbert continues, "Now compare that with all the junk you're watching." Dogbert says, "I just watched the story of how DNA was discovered, then learned to bake a cake from scratch, and now I'm learning the causes of global warming." Dogbert asks, "What are you reading?" Dilbert replies, "It's called 'The Poodle Who Killed.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #testing, #growth, #formula, #lab, #giant, #miffed, #sarcasm, #witty, #rat

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Ratbert sits on the hassock. Ratbert says, "I'm testing a growth formula at the lab." Dilbert replies, "I'm so happy. I've often thought that the only thing better than a rat in the house is a GIANT rat in the house." Ratbert says, "Yesterday I would have been miffed at your sarcasm. But that wouldn't be 'big' of me." Dilbert says, "Better yet, a giant, WITTY rat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 1992's comic on:


Tags #finances, #violence, #Dilbert, #christmas, #social, #life, #mortgage, #gift, #hat, #sale, #yule, #log

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I thought you might need help deciding what to get me for Christmas." Dogbert says, "I started by doing a complete analysis of your financial situation." Dogbert continues, "Your utter lack of a social life has resulted in significant cash reserves." Dogbert continues, "That combined with a second mortgage would make $50,000 available for my gift." Dilbert says, "I bought you a hat." Dogbert looks at Dilbert. Dilbert says, "It was on sale." Dogbert walks away saying, "It seems that every year at about this time I feel like beating somebody senseless with a yule log."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #report, #utilize, #facilitate, #replace, #implementation, #phase, #readable, #fax, #type, #size

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The Boss sits at his desk reading a report while Dilbert stands waiting. The Boss says, "Good report, but change the word 'use' to 'utilize' in each case." The Boss continues, "Change 'help' to 'facilitate' and replace 'do' with 'implementation phase.'" The Boss continues, "Hmm . . . It's still a bit too readable." Dilbert replies, "I could reduce the type size and run it through the fax."