Ridiculous Comic Strips - Page 5

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108 Results for Ridiculous

View 41 - 50 results for ridiculous comic strips. Discover the best "Ridiculous" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #story, #topping, #bragging, #ridiculous, #lying, #annoyed

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Topper Alice says, "I went for a long walk yesterday." Topper says, "That's nothing." Topper says, "My thighs are so strong that I'm afraid to jump rope when the sun is directly overhead." Alice says, "You're full of beans." Man says, "Exactly. That's how I achieve escape velocity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership, #assignment, #describing, #happy, #ridiculous

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Ratbert you're my new VP of sales." Dogbert says, "Your job is to set impossible goals for the salespeople and punish them for failing." Ratbert says, "Yay! I always wanted to be a sadist!" Dogbert says, "Dreams do come true."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #confrontation, #hunchback, #deformed, #boss, #ridiculous, #business

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Ratbert : VP of sales Ratbert says, "Humphrey, you're scaring all of our customers." Ratbert says, "Try to be less pitchforkable." Ratbert says, "Seriously. Can you do that?" Humphrey says, "Who wants a hug?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #collecting, #money, #birthday, #angry, #ridiculous

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Man says, "I'm collecting money for Scott's birthday present." Dilbert says, "You're Scott." Man says, "So? Is there some sort of rule against collecting money for your own birthday?" Dilbert says, "Well?no." Man says, "I'm buying myself some paper towels and cereal." Dilbert says, "Stop making it worse!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #plans, #meeting, #leadership, #failure, #ridiculous, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We'll execute our strategy in the usual way." Dogbert says, "The powerful will delegate to the untalented until failure is achieved." The boss says, "How long will that take?" Dogbert says, "We just finished."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stealing, #stupidity, #confronting, #ridiculous, #pirate

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Man says, "It's a conflict of interest for you to be our CEO and also a pirate who kidnaps our employees." Dogbert says, "The executive compensation committee approved this arrangement. It's all spelled out in my employment agreement." Man says, "So it is." Dogbert says, "Wait here while I call myself and ransom you back to the office."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talking, #meeting, #ridiculous, #idea, #metaphysics, #pointing, #firing, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We're paying too much taxes. Bring me a physicist and a tax attorney." Dogbert says, "I want to incorporate in another dimension. Make it happen." Man says, "Somewhere in the multiverse it's already done." Dogbert says, "I like you. The lawyer guy is fired."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #reading, #taxes, #audit, #ridiculous, #costume

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Income Tax Auditor Man says, "You claim your company is exempt from taxes because you're incorporated in?heaven?" Dogbert says, "Exactly." Man says, "I'm not allowed to question that claim because of the seperation between church and state." Wally says, "I am the angel Wally!" DOgbert says, "Hold on, Wally. We're selling past the close."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #rules, #ridiculous, #nervous, #shaking, #worried, #stupidity, #business

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The boss says, "We won a huge government contract." The boss says, "Now we need to follow all of our company policies plus every government procurement rule." Dilbert says, "I feel like I'm being smothered by a damp mattress!" The boss says, "That's what victory feels like!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #meeting, #evil, #ridiculous, #angry, #business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "Before I counsel you?" Catbert says, "You might want to clench your various sphincters so your soul doesn't escape." Wally says, "Is it okay if I release a scouting party?"