Ridiculous Comic Strips - Page 5
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108 Results for Ridiculous
View 41 - 50 results for ridiculous comic strips. Discover the best "Ridiculous" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday May 27,
2009
Tags story, topping, bragging, ridiculous, lying, annoyed
Transcript
Topper Alice says, "I went for a long walk yesterday." Topper says, "That's nothing." Topper says, "My thighs are so strong that I'm afraid to jump rope when the sun is directly overhead." Alice says, "You're full of beans." Man says, "Exactly. That's how I achieve escape velocity."
Wednesday June 03,
2009
Tags leadership, assignment, describing, happy, ridiculous
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Ratbert you're my new VP of sales." Dogbert says, "Your job is to set impossible goals for the salespeople and punish them for failing." Ratbert says, "Yay! I always wanted to be a sadist!" Dogbert says, "Dreams do come true."
Thursday June 04,
2009
Tags meeting, confrontation, hunchback, deformed, boss, ridiculous, business
Transcript
Ratbert : VP of sales Ratbert says, "Humphrey, you're scaring all of our customers." Ratbert says, "Try to be less pitchforkable." Ratbert says, "Seriously. Can you do that?" Humphrey says, "Who wants a hug?!"
Monday June 08,
2009
Tags collecting, money, birthday, angry, ridiculous
Transcript
Man says, "I'm collecting money for Scott's birthday present." Dilbert says, "You're Scott." Man says, "So? Is there some sort of rule against collecting money for your own birthday?" Dilbert says, "Well?no." Man says, "I'm buying myself some paper towels and cereal." Dilbert says, "Stop making it worse!"
Thursday June 11,
2009
Tags plans, meeting, leadership, failure, ridiculous, business
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We'll execute our strategy in the usual way." Dogbert says, "The powerful will delegate to the untalented until failure is achieved." The boss says, "How long will that take?" Dogbert says, "We just finished."
Wednesday June 17,
2009
Tags stealing, stupidity, confronting, ridiculous, pirate
Transcript
Man says, "It's a conflict of interest for you to be our CEO and also a pirate who kidnaps our employees." Dogbert says, "The executive compensation committee approved this arrangement. It's all spelled out in my employment agreement." Man says, "So it is." Dogbert says, "Wait here while I call myself and ransom you back to the office."
Tuesday June 23,
2009
Tags talking, meeting, ridiculous, idea, metaphysics, pointing, firing, business
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We're paying too much taxes. Bring me a physicist and a tax attorney." Dogbert says, "I want to incorporate in another dimension. Make it happen." Man says, "Somewhere in the multiverse it's already done." Dogbert says, "I like you. The lawyer guy is fired."
Thursday June 25,
2009
Tags lying, reading, taxes, audit, ridiculous, costume
Transcript
Income Tax Auditor Man says, "You claim your company is exempt from taxes because you're incorporated in?heaven?" Dogbert says, "Exactly." Man says, "I'm not allowed to question that claim because of the seperation between church and state." Wally says, "I am the angel Wally!" DOgbert says, "Hold on, Wally. We're selling past the close."
Tuesday July 07,
2009
Tags meeting, rules, ridiculous, nervous, shaking, worried, stupidity, business
Transcript
The boss says, "We won a huge government contract." The boss says, "Now we need to follow all of our company policies plus every government procurement rule." Dilbert says, "I feel like I'm being smothered by a damp mattress!" The boss says, "That's what victory feels like!"

