Salary Band Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

109 Results for Salary Band

View 41 - 50 results for salary band comic strips. Discover the best "Salary Band" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2002's comic on:


Tags #coproaret social responsibilty, #cut salary, #poor people, #extra money, #hose stock holders, #hurt stock options, #pollute less, #bucket, #river, #sludge out, #coffee, #zesty

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says to The Boss, "We need to show more corporate responsibility." The Boss replies, "Okay, I'll cut your salary and give the extra money to poor people." Tina says, "I was hoping we could hose the stockholders, not me." The Boss responds, "That would hurt my stock options." He pauses and then asks, "What if we pollute less?" Tina exclaims, "Yes, yes! That's what I'm talking about. We could pollute less!" The Boss says, "Okay, take a bucket to the river and see how much of our sludge you can get out." Tina asks, "Where would I put it?" Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Dilbert asks, "Is it just me or has the coffee improved?" Wally exclaims, "Zesty!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2003's comic on:


Tags #surplussed ted, #absorb function, #2 jobs one salary, #absorb his funtion, #osmosis, #symbiosis, #syneregy, #key learning, #tragic series, #monkey brained

View Transcript

Transcript

"I surplussed Ted. You'll need to absorb his function." "Absorb his function?" "Are you telling me to do two jobs for one salary?" "No, I'm telling you to absorb his function.. in an absorptive fashion." "..Using osmosis, symbiosis, and synergy." "Can you change reality by inventing new names for ordinary things?" "I sure hope so. Otherwise my entire career has been a.. a.." "Tragic series of monkey-brained mistakes?" "Key learning."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2003's comic on:


Tags #no raise, #next year, #disincentivized, #moping around, #muscles, #weak, #motovation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I can't give you the salary that you deserve because then there'd be no room for a raise next year." "I wouldn't want you to be all disincentivized, you know, just moping around." Dilbert: "Neck.. muscles.. so.. weak." The Boss: "I think motivation causes that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #worer, #40 million a year, #400 x worker pay, #salary, #disparity, #golden egg, #every ten minutes, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our CEO will be happy to answer any questions." Alice: "Why does the company pay you 40 million dollars a year?" "I ask because it's 400 times more than I make. And I work 70 hours a week." "Do you work 28,000 hours per week?" "Or do you have some sort of special ability that isn't obvious?" CEO: "GRRRRR RRRRR AAAAH-OOGAH!!!" "Golden egg. One every ten minutes." "Good answer."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2004's comic on:


Tags #pay calculated, #teal, #side conversations, #cilantro, #head will explode, #test theory, #better than hoped, #meeting, #table, #conference table, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

"You pay will be calculated a new way." "Then I said teal isn't a color." "Shhh! no side conversations." "Multiplied by the base salary." "I think it's a spice." "No side conversations." "It's like cilantro." "I can't help it. I'm the kind of guy who needs to talk or else it feels like my head will explode." "Let's test that theory." Mmmph! "Wow, that worked out better than I'd hoped."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2004's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #sow the seeds, #discontent, #massive disloyalty, #riots, #disloyalty, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Send the salary spreadsheet to Human Resources." "Don't let anyone else see it. That sort of information could sow the seeds of discontent." "We'd have massive disloyalty, fights, vandalism, maybe even riots."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2004's comic on:


Tags #accidentally sent, #salary spredsheet, #department, #more money, #upset, #wizard, #swollen appendix

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Look… Carol accidentally sent the salary spreadsheet to everyone in the department! Dilbert: WHat??! your pay is higher than mine??! But you're like a…a… WallY: wizard? Dilbert: swollen appendix.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2004's comic on:


Tags #low pay, #lowest paid, #blame, #no one left, #aliens, #illegal

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: "I just saw a list of everyone's salary." "I thought the glass ceiling was holding me down, but you have the highest pay here." "There's no one left to blame for my low pay except... Ooh, wait... How about illegal aliens?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #energy, #million dollar salary, #secreatry, #shareholder meeting, #spank, #stock options, #turned ugly, #beat up, #bandages, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The shareholder meeting turned ugly when I said we used all the profits to give ourselves stock options. They don't understand that I wouldn't work as hard if all I got was my million dollar case salary. Id barely have the energy ti spans my secretary. The boss: Too much info

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2005's comic on:


Tags #raises, #salary band, #205 higher, #raises capped, #supervisor

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I'd like to promote you, but the lowest salary band for the next level is 20% higher than your current pay." "Raises are capped at 5%, so there's no way to give you the promotion." "So I plan to hire someone from the outside that you can train to be your supervisor."