Sitting On Coal Comic Strips - Page 5

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454 Results for Sitting On Coal

View 41 - 50 results for sitting on coal comic strips. Discover the best "Sitting On Coal" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 1995's comic on:


Tags #own company, #Dogbert, #trim middle management, #fire anyone, #fyi on documents, #fyi files in barrel

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Dilbert and Wally stand in front of Dogbert who is sitting at a desk. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Now that you own the company, what do you plan to do?" Dogbert answers, "Trim middle management." Dogbert continues, "I'll fire anybody who gives me a document marked 'FYI.' Those people have too much time on their hands." A manager carrying a wheelbarrow full of documents marked "FYI" asks Dilbert and Wally, "Are you sure this will set me apart from the other managers?" Wally replies, "You'll be surprised how quickly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 1995's comic on:


Tags #elbonians, #run comapony, #only female engineer, #watch discrimination, #coffee wenches

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Dilbert, Wally and Alice stand outside a conference room holding folders. Alice says, "In a way, I'm glad the Elbonians run this company now." As they take their seats at the conference table, Alice smiles and says, "After years of being the only female engineer I'll enjoy watching the Elbonians discriminate against you guys." The Elbonian sitting next to Alice hands her a mug and says, "I didn't realize you had coffee wenches in this country too." Alice looks furious. Wally says to the Elbonian, "I hope you don't want children, Yorgi." A caption reads, "Continued . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 1995's comic on:


Tags #fetch coffee, #surprise you, #kicked into hat, #alice, #elbonian, #sexist, #coffee wench

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Alice, Dilbert, Wally and an Elbonian sit around a conference table. The Elbonian hands a coffee cup to Alice who says, "In this country we have a custom when men ask women to fetch coffee." Alice continues, "Stand up . . . That's it . . . Now this will really surprise you." Dilbert and Wally cover their eyes and Wally says, "Oh God." A hat with feet sticking out of it sits on the chair where the Elbonian was sitting. Wally says, "I've never seen anybody get kicked into his hat before." Dilbert says, "That's gotta hurt."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 1995's comic on:


Tags #improve career, #ceo, #refer first name, #recent meeting, #rule, #iron fist, #funny dog

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Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dogbert says, "Try this little trick to improve your career . . ." Dogbert continues, "Anytime you want something your way, simply refer to your CEO by his first name and say he gave you directions during your very recent meeting." Dogbert continues, "It's totally unverifiable. People will fear you and do as you say. You'll rule with an iron fist!" Dilbert responds, "You're a funny little dog."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 1995's comic on:


Tags #turning est, #artificial software, #repsonse, #on screen, #computer, #staretgy, #visonize, #enhance earnings, #motivate emplyees, #improve focus, #opportunity, #opinions, #redefine, #technology

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A man tells Dilbert, "You'll be performing a 'Turing test' on our new artificial intelligence software." Dilbert sits at a desk. The researcher continues, "Try to determine if the responses on your screen come from our computer or a human in the next room." Dilbert says, "I'll ask it to write a strategy for our company." The computer responds, "Our strategy is to visionize quality resources that enhance earnings." Dilbert thinks, "Hmm." Dilbert says, "I'll ask it how to motivate employees." The computer response says, "Reorganize often to improve focus. Redefine work as 'opportunity' and increase it daily. Take time to ask for opinions then explain why they're wrong." Dilbert tells the researcher, "It must be a computer because there's no human intelligence. Unless . . ." Dilbert looks into the next room and sees the Boss sitting at a computer. Dilbert says, "Nice try, boss."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1995's comic on:


Tags #pursue goal, #world domination, #talk radio host, #unique conservative view, #deserve mockery, #flawed view, #intelligent questions

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Dogbert says to Dilbert who is sitting at his desk, "I think the best way to pursue my goal of world domination is to become a talk radio host." Dogbert continues, "I'll promote my unique conservative viewpoint that people are idiots who deserve to be mocked." Dilbert asks, "Won't people show your viewpoint to be flawed by virtue of their intelligent questions?" Dogbert asks, "Like that one?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #engineering, #uses program, #marketing, #prodcut, #urrelevant, #engineers, #same as marketeers, #sitting in cave, #rocks are edicble, #recipes, #business

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Stan in marketing works at his computer while Dilbert looks over his shoulder. Dilbert says, "Everybody in engineering uses this program I wrote. I think marketing should turn it into a product." Stan replies, "I wouldn't buy this." Dilbert tells Stan, "That's irrelevant because the target market would be engineers." Stan says, "Engineers think the same as marketeers." Dilbert replies, "If that were true we'd be sitting in a cave trying to decide if rocks are edible." Stan points to the computer and says, "You know, you could keep recipes on this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 1995's comic on:


Tags #tina brittlke tech, #dysfunctional, #opinions, #email, #women portrayed, #lawyers, #startship captains, #art class

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Dogbert and Tina are sitting at a table. Dogbert says to the reader, "This week, we introduced Tina the Brittle Tech Writer to the strip. Tina is dysfunctional like everybody here except me." Tina growls, "RRRR." Dogbert continues, "Send your opinions by e-mail to scottadams@aol.com. It's the only way we can learn." Tina growls, "RRRR." A written list says, "PICK ONE: A. Women should only be portrayed as lawyers and starship captains. B. I don't have e-mail. C. Tina should be treated with the same dignity as Dilbert and Wally. D. Take an art class."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 1995's comic on:


Tags #employee benefits, #eyegalsses, #support new vision, #radila keratotomy, #squinting

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Dilbert, Catbert and Wally are sitting at a conference table. Catbert says, "As director of human resources I've been asked to reduce the cost of employee benefits." Catbert says, "The company will no longer pay for eyeglasses. But we WILL support a new vision-correction procedure." Dilbert asks, "Radial Keratotomy?" Catbert answers, "Squinting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 1995's comic on:


Tags #new company slogan, #act like you own the comapny, #fired marketing dept, #security escort

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The Boss, Wally, Alice and Dilbert are sitting at a conference table. Wally says, "I'm happy to report that I have embraced the new company slogan 'Act like you own the company.'" Wally continues, "This morning I fired the marketing department and had security escort them out." The Boss replies, "That's not exactly what we had in mind . . ." As a security guard taps on the Boss's shoulder, Wally says, "Fortunately I anticipated your reaction."