Six Characters Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

157 Results for Six Characters

View 41 - 50 results for six characters comic strips. Discover the best "Six Characters" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ntern, #elbonian data base, #installing, #bad movies, #password

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert sits at a desk. Asok stands behind him and asks, "I am only an intern, but may I make a suggestion?" Asok says, "The Elbonian database system you're installing for our company will never work . . . Unless I rewrite the entire thing with just six keystrokes . . . Done." Ratbert says, "I thought this was only possible in bad movies." Asok says, "Hey, let's hack into NATO's system. I can guess their password in three tries."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #need secreatry, #six months now ork, #too busy, #secretary needs secreatry

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol, the Boss's secretary, tells him, "I need my own secretary. I'm too busy to help you unless I get some support." The Boss replies, "Too busy? You haven't done any work for me in six months." Carol says, "Oh, suddenly this is about YOU?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #professional, #bearer of bad news, #offer position, #qualified, #six billion, #earth, #resume

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands at a desk and types, "We can not offer you a position at this time but you are obviously qualified." Dogbert types, "Unfortunately, the other six billion people on earth are more qualified." Dogbert types, "We'll keep your resume on file." He crumples the resume into a ball and throws it over his shoulder.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #bearer, #bad news, #doctor, #six months to live, #nose job, #mix up, #hospital, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

A man lies in a hospital bed with a bandage on his nose. Dogbert stands on the bed and says, "Your doctor asked me to tell you that you have six months to live." The patient says, "There must be a mistake. I'm here for a nose job." Dogbert checks a document and says, "Oh, you're right . . . I wondered why that last guy was so happy when I told him he'd have one huge nostril for the next forty years."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #petting, #break up, #roxanne, #humans, #kind, #intelligent creatures, #freaks out, #until intimate

View Transcript

Transcript

Roxanne, the cute girl, and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dogbert says, "As much as I like the petting, I still have to break up with you, Roxanne." Roxanne says, "Why?" Dogbert says, "Humans are kind intelligent, well-adjusted creatures, until you get to know them." Roxanne screams, "May the horned demons of Ixpah smite you like the last six!!!" Dogbert walks away and says, "This is what I'm talking about."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss zone, #donuts on hair, #executive retreat, #failure, #one month, #project, #six phases, #uncertainty, #approval

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk and hands a piece of paper to Alice. The Boss says, "Get my approval at each phase. Finish in one month." Alice looks at the paper and says, "Let's see.. You're on vacation next week. Then you're traveling, then there's an executive retreat..." Alice continues while the Boss appears to listen, "It takes three weeks to get on your calendar... and the project has six phases..." Alice says, "What we have here is guaranteed failure." Alice says, "You've left nothing to chance on this one." Alice says, "I mean, normally there's a bit of uncertainty, but you've..oh." Alice says, "You've slipped into the "Boss Zone" where you can't see or hear employee input." The Boss is a zombie and Alice waves her hand in front of his eyes to no effect. The Boss says to Carol, his secretary, "It's weird. I lost ten minutes, and when I woke up, my doughnuts were gone." A doughnut is stuck on each of The Boss's tufts of hair.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #human resources, #randomly selected, #drug test, #unlucky at work, #hair samples, #one whole eyebrow, #lost box, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert sits at his computer terminal. The monitor dispalys a picture of Wally, labeled Victims. Catbert thinks, "You're next." Catbert stands in Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, you've been randomly selected for an employee drug test." Wally says, "Randomly? Why am I the only one who gets picked every week?!" Catbert says, "You're very unlucky at work. But I'm sure you compensate by being lucky at love." Catbert laughs a maniacal laugh. Catbert says, "Anyway... our new drug test uses hair samples." Catbert holds a little box and says, "To be safe, give me six hairs... and one whole eyebrow." Catbert walks off with his box, purring. He thinks, "I'll come back in an hour and says I lost the box."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cluelessness, #indecisiveness, #micromange, #over analysis, #risks, #risk analysis

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "We'll need a risk analysis on this project before I can approve it." He hands Dilbert some papers. Dilbert types on his computer: Risk 1 Indecisiveness, Risk 2 Overanalysis, Risk 3: Cluelessness, Rik 4: Micromanagement... The Boss says, "I don't understand these risks,." Dilbert says, "That's number thirty-six."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #famous serial killers, #database, #name, #weapon, #tattoo, #killer application

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the intern is making a presentation. He points to the display projected from his laptop computer and says, "My new product is a database of famous serial killers." Asok says, "You can search the database by name, weapon, or tattoo." Alice frowns. Alice turns to Wally and says, "Let me guess, Wally: Six months ago our young intern asked you what the term 'killer application' meant." The Boss looks on.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #necktie, #getting shorter, #casual clothes, #six months, #necktie gone, #bald

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert remarks to Wally, "Is it my imagination or is your necktie getting shorter every day?" Wall chuckles. Wally replies, "I'm gradually moving toward casual clothes. In six months this necktie will be gone and no one will notice." Dilbert says, "Everyone noticed when you went bald." Wally asks, "I'm bald?"