Smell Forever Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for smell forever comic strips. Discover the best "Smell Forever" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teds job, #two jobs forever, #verbal praise, #down the road, #future, #manipulation, #until hire

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I need you to do Ted's job and your own job until we hire someone." Dilbert responds, "If I do well, you'll make me do two jobs forever. If I do poorly, I'll get no raise." The Boss replies, "I can't promise anything, but there might be some verbal praise down the road."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fifty candiadtes, #good news, #low level lackeys, #once in a lifetime, #paperwork from promotion

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The Boss stops an employee in the hallway and says, "I have some good news for you!" The Boss puts his arm around the employee and says, "The paperwork for your promotion just came through." The Boss says, "There were fifty good candidates for this job." The Boss hands the paperwork to the employee and says, "It's a once-in-a- lifetime opportunity." The Boss continues, "Most people in your specialty are destined to be low-level lackeys forever. But not you!" The employee reads the paperwork and says, "Umm.. my name is Tim. This promotion is for Tom." The Boss replies, "Oh..." He pauses and then continues, "Well.. being a low- level lackey forever is good, too." Tim walks out crying. The Boss calls after him, "Could you tell Tom I have some good news?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #smell like manager, #fiery concoction, #agree with me, #breath enhancer, #around up cigarettes, #farm shovels, #coffee

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Dogbert is standing on The Boss' desk. He points to a bottle and says to The Boss, "A good manager needs to smell like a manager." Dogbert continues, "Your breath should be a fiery concoction that says, "Agree with me or die." Dogbert picks up the bottle and says, "Try 'Dogbert's Management Breath Enhancer.' made from ground-up cigarettes, farm shovels, and coffee."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #testing new invention, #mothers use telephone, #toddlers noise cancelation, #visual, #child, #moth frozen open, #change forever

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Dilbert says into the telephone, "Thanks for testing my new invention." The woman on the other end of the line says, "If this thing works, it will forever change the way that mothers use the telephone." Dilbert says, "We've been on the phone for half a minute. The noise should start at any moment." The woman says, "Here it comes." A toddler walks into the room and yells, "Hey! What are you doing on the phone?!" The toddler continues yelling, "Can I eat ten cookies? I think my arm is broken! Where's my toy?!!" The toddler cries, "Waaaaaaaaa!!" On the other end of the line, Dilbert says, "Now push the toddler noise cancellation button." The toddler's mouth is still wide open, but no sound is coming out. The woman says, "It stopped the noise, but you need to do something about the visual."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tunnel shark, #dig forever, #red button, #don't push button

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Dilbert: I call it the "Tunnel SHrk" It converts dirt and rock into energy and can dig forever. So whatever you do, don't ignore what Im saying and push the red button. The Boss: Button! Now whats gotten into you?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clarification, #assignment, #jeudgement, #invite calamity, #good parts, #forever damned

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Dilbert: I need clarification on my assignment. Dilbert: Should I use my own judgement and be forever damned if things go badly? Or should I sue your advice and invite certain calamity? the bossL both plans have good parts.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #office efficency, #celebrated, #done forevre, #feel special

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources In order to improve office efficiency, all birthdays will be celebrated on the same day." "Do you mean one clebration per year, or just once and then we're done forever?" "Just once." "Well, at least I'll feel special once. What day is the celebration?" "Yesterday."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cross charging, #freshly brewed coffee, #tempting pasteries, #time to project, #meeting, #wrong meeting, #mis placed, #business

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Um...Why are you here? "Originally I was seduced by the smell of your freshly brewed coffee and tempting pastries." "But now I'm all about cross-charging my time to your project."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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We discovered that the mud in Elbonia is caused by an abundance of oil and coal near the surface. "Our country will be prosperous and happy forever unless we do something incredibly stupid." "Are you building any weapons of mass destruction?" "Why? Is that a problem?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Wally, I can't work with the smell of popcorn in the air. It makes me insane!" "I use it to mask the odors coming from my body. Choose your poison." "Refueling the Hindenburg?" "Why are people so mean?"