Start Dream Assignment Comic Strips - Page 5
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Share February 14, 1993's comic on:
The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to interview the job applicant who's coming in today." The Boss continues, "See if he's got what it takes to be an engineer." Dilbert holds out his hand and says to the candidate, "Hi, Karl. We'll start with the standard engineering test." Karl says, "Okey dokey." Dilbert says, "I have thiry-five pens and pencils here. How many are really needed to perform your job?" Karl answers, "All of them." Dilbert says, "Correct . . . Now, what is the proper way to carry them with you?" Karl puts all of the pens and pencils in his shirt pocket. Dilbert says, "Right again. Last question: what is the advantage of wearing natural fabrics?" Karl thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Panic situation." Sweat flies off his forehead and his hair sticks up. He says, "I . . . I don't know." Dilbert says, "That's okay. I was testing your hair. You're an engineer." Karl smiles.
Share March 11, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to start a business as a professional insulter." Dogbert continues, "For example, I would say to you, you're so ugly that you have to wear a disguise on garbage pick-up day." Dilbert replies, "That was uncalled for." Dogbert says, "Well, then no charge."
Share March 30, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Bob, I need your help in my quest to conquer earth." Bob asks, "What do I do?" Dogbert replies, "I'll use my powers of hypnosis to control everybody who sees me on television. You must whack everybody else with your mighty tail." Bob strokes his tail and asks, "Did I ever mention that I have sensitive skin?" Dogbert replies, "Start with accountants. They're soft and you can build calluses."
Share April 12, 1993's comic on:
Wally says to Dilbert and Ted, "Don't get too close - I found out that my baldness is caused by too much testosterone." Wally continues, "Now with my hair gone I'm afraid the testosterone will start flinging out of my pores." Drops of testosterone fly out of Wally's head. Ted says, "Hey! You got some on my shirt!" Wally raises his fists and says, "Do you have a problem with that?"
Share April 19, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "The local school wants somebody to talk to the kids about a career as an engineer." The Boss giggles as he says, "I'm giving this plum assignment to you because you're such a good role model." Dilbert says, "It's more sincere sounding when you don't giggle." The Boss says, "Remember, children are our future!"
Share April 29, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I'm going to start up a television news network that only reports happy stories." Dogbert sits at a news desk and says, "In sports, fifty percent of the teams won their games yesterday and all the players are millionaires - most of whom have no serious drug problems." Dogbert continues, "Our person of the week is Darryl, who, despite his tiny brain, found success through a life of crime." In the corner of the tv screen there is a picture of a man holding a bag of money and hugging a woman in front of a palm tree.
Share July 05, 1993's comic on:
The Boss, Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Let's start with a brainstorming exercise. Alice, you go first." Alice closes her eyes and says, "I imagine myself not surrounded by dull, unattractive, and largely clueless men." Alice says, "Mmmm . . ." Dilbert says, "I think she just insulted you guys."
Share July 31, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits outside the dome and types on a laptop, "Day one of the Bioworld experiment is off to a rocky start." Dilbert types, "The volunteers have no edible plants and the oxygen level is dropping." The volunteers hold signs that say "Help" and "Let us out." Dilbert types, "Fortunately, most of the volunteers are ex-car salespeople, so we remain emotionally uninvolved." Dogbert says, "Look how they spelled 'oxygen.'"
Share August 26, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert says to two Elbonians, "You start by identifying problem areas." One Elbonian sniffs while another says, "Hmm . . . Sometimes our mittens get stuck to our noses and we can't breathe." As an Elbonian struggles with his mitten, another says, "Yorgi! Try to breathe with your mouth!" Dilbert says, "People! Let's talk metrics, please!"
Share August 30, 1993's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "This thankless assignment shall go to whoever asks a question or makes eye contact." The employees all look away as the Boss continues, "It's really, really stupid . . . Does anybody want to question it?" Alice slides a pocket mirror across the table. The Boss says, "I think I see Ted's eyes in the mirror." Dilbert says, "Good one, Alice!" Ted gasps.