Take Training Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

865 Results for Take Training

View 41 - 50 results for take training comic strips. Discover the best "Take Training" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #Wally, #unnatural, #magnificent, #puppet, #buy, #us, #customer, #memorize

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and another employee, "We're making a company commercial. Memorize these lines." Dilbert reads, "I'm Wally! I was specially bred to serve you and take abuse, O magnificent customer." Dilbert says, "It sounds a little unnatural." The woman reads, "I'm Raquel. I'll be your love puppet if you buy from us."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #elbonians, #gate, #pickaxes, #rakes, #emergency, #despot, #escape, #slingshot, #remind, #garden, #festival

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a throne wearing a miter. Dilbert yells, "A mob of Elbonians is at the gate!! They have pickaxes and rakes!!" Dogbert looks shocked. Dilbert and Dogbert run up the stairs to the roof. Dogbert yells, "Quick!! We'll take the emergency despot escape slingshot!!" As Dilbert and Dogbert fly through the air overhead, an Elbonian says to the crowd behind him, "Did anybody remind the king that today is the garden festival?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #yesterday, #price, #no-rabies, #warranty, #plain, #wag, #pet, #booth, #business, #stand

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits behind a box with a sign that says, "Pet me. $5.00." Dilbert says, "Hey! You charged me TEN dollars yesterday!" Dogbert explains, "Five dollars is just the base price. I charge extra for an extended no-rabies warranty and other add-ons." Dilbert says, "I'll take a 'plain.'" Dogbert asks, "Wag or no wag?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #ted, #item, #vacation, #increments, #regular, #work, #days, #vacations, #avoid, #assignments, #minutes, #cough, #better, #take, #some, #sick, #time

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Ted, can you explain number two?" Ted replies, "No. I'm on vacation." Ted explains, "I take my vacations in ten minute increments during regular work days. That way I can avoid assignments." Dilbert says, "Your ten minutes are up." Ted coughs and says, "Whoa, I'd better take some sick time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #late, #date, #ellen, #shampoo, #carpets, #Crossword, #puzzle, #attractive, #superiority, #complete, #disregard, #ugly, #adorable, #face, #stunned, #stupor, #flowers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant by himself. He looks at his watch and says, "She's an hour late." A woman approaches the table. Dilbert says, "Hi, Ellen. Didn't we agree on seven?" Ellen replies, "Hi, Dilbert." Ellen says, "I was ready on time but I decided to shampoo my carpets." Ellen continues, "Then I got involved in a crossword puzzle." Ellen explains, "This is how attractive people assert their superiority over the rest of you." Ellen continues, "Don't take it personally. I have a complete disregard for the feelings of all ugly people." Ellen continues, "I'll make this adorable face and you'll go into a stunned-ugly-guy stupor and forget the whole thing." Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . What were we talking about?" Ellen says, "You were explaining why you didn't bring me any flowers."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #profits, #low, #training, #class, #cute, #jumpy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, profits are too low. I've got to let you go . . ." Dilbert says, "What!!" The Boss continues, ". . . To a training class." The Boss walks away thinking, "They're so cute when they get jumpy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #president, #Dilbert, #opening, #supreme court, #old, #wandered, #nominating, #dog, #loyal, #george, #somebody, #message

View Transcript

Transcript

A presidential aide says to the President, "Mister President, there's another opening on the Supreme Court. One of the old guys wandered away." The aide continues, "I recommend nominating a dog this time. They tend to be loyal and everybody likes them." Dilbert hands Dogbert the phone and says, "It's for you . . . George somebody." Dogbert says, "Take a message."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #electric, #razor, #burn, #face, #joke, #toaster, #shave, #problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Do you know the difference between an electric razor and a toaster?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert says, "No??? Geez, it must take you a long time to shave. Do you burn your face a lot?" Dilbert says, "I thought you were telling a joke." Dogbert asks, "How long have you had this problem?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #nardo, #old country, #personal space, #hands, #pockets

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Dilbert, "Uh-oh, Nardo is coming. I'm out of here." Nardo and Dilbert stand nose-to-nose. Dilbert says, "Uh, hi, Nardo." Nardo says, "In the old country we did not have what you call personal space." Dilbert says, "Take your hands out of my pockets." Nardo says, "Oh, I get it. They're for your use only, right?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #chess, #bishop, #rook, #friend, #queen, #uzi, #purse, #slays, #scrabble, #man

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table playing chess. Dilbert says, "Bishop takes rook. I have you now, my friend." As he sweeps the pieces off the game board, Dogbert says, "My queen has an Uzi in her purse. She slays your entire side." Dilbert says, "You did the same thing when we played Scrabble." Dogbert replies, "Take it like a man."