Talk Comic Strips - Page 5
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Character
368 Results for Talk
View 41 - 50 results for talk comic strips. Discover the best "Talk" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 11,
1994
Tags small group, young, Funny, single people, socialize, romances, ski trips
Transcript
Tina: "Dilbert, I'm forming a small clique of all the young, funny, single people in the department." "We'll have drinks during lunch, talk about ski trips, and have romances within the group." Dilbert: "Please...just shoot me now." Tina: "No, no...we need you to do our work."
Sunday February 20,
1994
Tags 45 inch screen, communications staellite, cure disease, fish appear on screen, great products, marketing, new product, room freshener, telepathic user, whiten teeth, time travel, business
Transcript
How Great Products are designed The Boss: Go talk to marketing. Dilbert: Groan Dilbert: Dave, tell me what marketing wants the new product to do. Dave: It has to have a 45 inch screen and still fit in a purse or a wallet. Dave: It needs to act as a communications satellite as well as a room fresher. Dilbert: uh... Dave: it must cure deadly diseases and whoyten your teeth while you sleep! HAHA! and it has to be capable of time travel!! and have a telepathic user interface! Slap! Dilbert: I could write a program that makes fish appear on the computer screen, DAVE: yeah a lot of people want that.
Tuesday March 15,
1994
Tags new management layer, middle mangemnet, new boss, harfurd, idiot, unqualified, fool
Transcript
The Boss: Im creating a new layer of management so I dont have to talk to you anymore. Richard is your new boss. He has an MBA from Harfund University. Dilbert: You mean Harvard don't you? The Boss: Uh oh
Friday March 18,
1994
Tags organ donor, reorganizations, unwanted employees, what job
Transcript
Wally: Sometimes I think these constant reorganizations are just excuses for getting rid of unwanted employees. Wally: what job did you end up with? Dilbert: Organ donor Wally: My shoulder is acting up. Do I talk to you or is there a form to fill out? Dilbert: I don't think thats an "Organ"
Monday April 11,
1994
Tags device conforms, international standards, communications, not fault, less experineced, boss phone number, vendor, salesman
Transcript
"Our device conforms to all international standards for communications." "In other words, it doesn't do anything useful and it's not your fault." "Is there somebody less experienced I could talk to?" "Do you have my boss's number?"
Monday April 18,
1994
Tags press release, dsn, bid 50 million, hollywood studio, providing static, channels, Dogbert, static netowrk
Transcript
"Here's the press release about our bid to buy 'DSN' for fifty billion dollars." "DSN is the hollywood studio that provides static to all the channels that woudl otherwise be blank." "The 'Dogbert Static Network'?!!" "Talk to me, babe."
Sunday May 01,
1994
Tags all day meetings, cutting staff, giving stats reports, layers, quality team meeting, root cause, slow computers, slow design, wild guesses
Transcript
Dilbert: Thank you all for coming to our engineering quality team meeting. Dilbert: Today we'll try to identify the root cause of our slow design process. Wally: Let me take some wild guesses here. Management keeps increasing our work and cutting our staff. Wally: we spend all out time giving status reports to unnecessary layers of management!! Wally: ow we're having all -day meetings to talk about our efficiency!! Dilbert: I was kinda hoping for some thing that inst anybody fault. Our computers are too slow. we need new ones, Dilbert: now we're getting someplace.
Thursday May 19,
1994
Tags difficult, cooperate, project success, head is full, birdseed, pants glued, soap carving
Transcript
Dilbert: Your department has a reputation for being difficult to work with. But I know we can cooperate to make my project a success. Man: Id love yo help but my head is full of birdseed and my pants are glued to this chair. Dilbert: I'll talk to your boss. Man: Good Luck. He's a soap carving.
Sunday June 12,
1994
Tags aa meeting, ratbert, fear of computers, technophobe, wrong meeting, alcoholics anonymous, interupt, elaborate excuses, avoid computers, web of deception
Transcript
Ratbert: My name is Ratbert. I fear the information superhighway. Like most of you, my problem started because I never learned to type. I thought only secretaries needed to type. Then the computers came. At first I dismissed them as mere toys for men with no social skills. Soon they were everywhere. I would invent elaborate excuses to avoid computers. I was caught in my own web of deception. MAN: This is "alcoholics anonymous" Ratbert: I didn't interrupt you. Man: Can we talk about me now?
Tuesday June 14,
1994
Tags bad schdeuling, careless, company cares, last tuesday, long hours, missed out, stress on workers, stress redcution expert, stressful, talk at lunch, too late
Transcript
"The company cares deeply about the effects of long hours and stress on workers." "So they're paying nearly $200 to have an expert on stress-reduction give a talk during lunch." "Just when you think they don't care, something like this comes along." "It's scheduled for lst Tuesday."

