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View 41 - 50 results for tell board comic strips. Discover the best "Tell Board" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 1992's comic on:


Tags #garbageman, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #taunting, #mercilessly, #calibrated, #commands, #nothing

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Dogbert says to the garbage man, "Our robot is taunting Dilbert mercilessly. Is there any way to stop him?" The garbage man says, "I meant to tell you; I calibrated his neuro-actuator so he would obey only YOUR commands, Dogbert." The robot dangles Dilbert out of the window by his legs. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "What did he say?" Dogbert replies, "He says there's nothing you can do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #lack, #ethics, #social, #conscience, #guilt, #module, #synthesized, #belief, #system, #spittle

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Dogbert says to the robot, "We need to do something about your total lack of ethics and social conscience." Dogbert continues, "I had Dilbert build this guilt module for your control board. It has the synthesized shame of every major belief system." Later, the robot says to Dilbert, "I am unworthy to roll in your spittle." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Frankly, I liked him better before."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #concerned, #running, #president, #wrong, #reasons, #ego, #gratification, #power, #wealth, #ignorant, #masses

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "I'm concerned that you might be running for President for the wrong reasons . . ." Dilbert asks, "Are you doing it for ego gratification, power, and wealth?" Dogbert replies, "Yes." Dilbert shakes his finger at Dogbert and says, "Well, those are all the wrong reasons." Dogbert says, "Of course, I'll tell the ignorant masses that it's because I hate big government."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #spaghetti, #cooked, #answer, #question, #chef, #wall, #stick, #strand, #hat, #wearing

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Dilbert stands at the stove wearing an apron and looking into a pot. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How can I tell when spaghetti is cooked?" Dogbert replies, "I'll have to wear the hat to answer that question." Dogbert walks back into the room wearing a chef's hat. Dogbert answers, "The spaghetti is done when you can throw it at the wall and make it stick." Dilbert thinks, "Seems odd . . . But he was wearing the hat." Dogbert hears, "Whap! Splash!" Dogbert says, "Preferably, one strand at a time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 1992's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #accomplish, #performance, #worthless, #generate, #license

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Tell me what you've accomplished this year so I can write your performance appraisal." Dilbert answers, "The inventions I made last year - that you thought were worthless, will generate twelve million in license fees next year!" The Boss asks, "So, no real accomplishments THIS year?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #captain, #bob, #eat, #survivors, #cannibal, #mountain, #village, #message, #snowball, #snow

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Dogbert, Dilbert, a man in a pilot's uniform and another man stand on a snow-covered mountain where their airplane crashed. Dogbert says, "Captain Bob, I think you're planning to eat the other survivors." Captain Bob replies, "Ha ha! Too bad your only hope is to send a message to the village at the base of this mountain." Dogbert throws a snowball at the captain, knocking him off his feet. Dogbert says, "When you roll into town, tell them Dogbert sent you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #happiness, #money, #wrong, #invested, #options, #stock, #company, #desk, #zymed, #takeover, #rumors, #idiots

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "Am I wrong or did you tell me you invested all of your money in stock options for a company called Zymed?" Dogbert continues, "The radio says the stock price tripled on takeover rumors. You just made about ten million dollars." Dogbert continues, "But they say money can't buy happiness." Dilbert replies, "Apparently 'they' are idiots."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #walk, #fouth, #grade, #teacher, #miss mulput, #remember, #homely, #gum, #punishment, #adult, #revenge, #backward

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Dogbert and Dilbert walk through the park. Dilbert says, "Hey, that's Miss Mulput, my old fourth grade teacher." Dilbert says, "Hi, Miss Mulput! Do you remember me - Dilbert?" Miss Mulput replies, "No." Dilbert says, "You used to make me write on the board a thousand times 'I will not be homely in class.'" Miss Mulput replies, "Oh, yeah. That was a good one." Dilbert says, "At the time it seemed like pretty strict punishment for chewing gum." Dilbert continues, "But that experience made me what I am today . . ." Dilbert continues, "An angry adult, obsessed with thoughts of revenge." Dilbert says, "You know, Miss 'Molepit,' if my dog had your face I'd shave his hiney and make him walk backward." Dogbert says, "Leave me out of this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #walk, #nature, #wonderful, #planet, #children, #strangers, #borrow, #collateral, #smoking, #shell, #overlooked, #Environment, #situation, #want, #selfish

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Dogbert and Dilbert walk through the park. Dilbert says, "Nature is so wonderful . . ." Dilbert continues, "They say we don't leave the planet to future generations, we borrow it from our children." Dogbert says, "It's even better than that." Dogbert continues, "WE don't have children, so we're borrowing the planet from complete strangers!" Dogbert continues, "And there's no collateral. We can use up the planet, have great lives and leave an empty smoking shell to the strangers!" Dogbert continues, "I tell you, people have completely overlooked the positive side of this environment situation." Dilbert says, "But someday I WANT to have children." Dogbert replies, "Let's hope they're not as selfish as you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #think, #spare, #feelings, #hideous, #compost, #random, #colors, #hackneyed, #poorly, #executed, #embarrassing, #proof, #utter

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Dogbert sits at the table and Ratbert stands on the table in front an easel. Ratbert says, "Tell me what you think, and don't try to spare my feelings." Dogbert says, "It's a hideous compost of random colors. It seems both hackneyed and poorly executed. It's an embarrassing proof of your utter lack of talent." Dogbert continues, "As for you personally, spend some time on a 'Stairmaster.'" Ratbert says angrily, "Stick to the art, please!"