Tragic Death March Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

251 Results for Tragic Death March

View 41 - 50 results for tragic death march comic strips. Discover the best "Tragic Death March" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ratbert, Dogbert, talking, lab, cow, egg, industry, discredit, vegetarian, movement, paid, meat, healthy, rat, ironically, chokes, death, carrot

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert and Dogbert walk toward each other on the sidewalk. Ratbert says, "Hey, Dogbert, everybody is talking about you at the lab." Dogbert asks, "Really?" Ratbert says, "The 'cow and egg' industry is going to discredit your vegetarian movement. They paid us to prove meat is healthy." Dogbert says, "What's your role?" Ratbert replies, "I play the rat who ironically chokes to death on a carrot during the news conference." Dogbert replies, "Great . . . I'll have to see that on CNN about a jillion times."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, vegetarians, march, capitol, protest, killing, animals, mile, drive, letters, revolution, people, only, plastic, wooden, shoes, avoid, Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a ladder and addresses a crowd. Dogbert says, "Vegetarians, we must march to the capitol to protest the killing of animals!" A man in the audience says, "That's a mile away." Another man asks, "Can we drive instead?" A woman asks, "Or maybe write letters?" Back at home, Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Never lead a revolution of people who only own plastic and wooden shoes." Dilbert replies, "I try to avoid it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, received, death, threats, patent, augmented, security, system, sidewalk, rigged, electric, shock, disarming, intruder, catapult, landfill, mail

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've received death threats because of my new patent. So I augmented our home security system." Dilbert continues, "The sidewalk is rigged to give an electric shock, thus disarming the intruder. Then a spring catapults him to the city landfill." Outside, someone screams. Dilbert and Dogbert look out the window and see several envelopes falling onto the sidewalk. Dogbert says, "The mail is here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, tragic, story, update, reported, killed, weather, Sports, injury, news, drove, pedestrian

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair watching television and Dogbert sits on the hassock. The newscaster says, "After that tragic story we have an even more tragic update on a previously reported tragedy, then . . ." The news reporter continues, "We'll tell you about people who got killed by the weather. And in sports we profile the injury of the week." The newscaster continues, "And in local news, not much was happening, so we drove the news van around until we hit a pedestrian."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dogbert, Wally, pyschic, business consulting, computer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to the Boss, "I sense death . . ." Dogbert and the Boss stand behind Wally's desk. Dogbert says, "It's coming from here. Yes, he's definitely dead." Dogbert says to the Boss, "You should bury him. He already smells bad." Wally says, "I'll bet this isn't heaven."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, albert, bonding, shoulder, massage, team, player, buddy, vulcan, death, grip

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'll give you Albert a male bonding shoulder massage to show I'm a team player. Hey, Al! Keep up the work, Buddy! Oops... That might have been the Vulcan death grip.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Wally, Dilbert, ed, business meeting, business project

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally watch the Boss tell Ed, "Nervous Ed, I'm assigning you to a special project." Nervous Ed pulls his tie and replies, "Special assignment? That means you don't have any real work for me." Nervous Ed continues, "Everybody knows that a special assignment is a kiss of death." The Boss continues, "You'll be sharing a cubicle with six other employees who are also on special assignment." Nervous Ed looks scared and thinks, "Don't panic yet . . . Maybe it's something important . . . Maybe it's something that could make an impact." The Boss says, "Your assignment is to improve employee empowerment." Nervous Ed looks shocked. Nervous Ed convulses and faints. Wally tells the Boss, "Thanks for letting us watch." The Boss asks, "Did you like the part about six in the cubicle?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, Wally, cryogenic, death, future

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss tells Wally and Dilbert, "I just arranged to have my body cryogenically frozen before my death." The Boss continues, "In a hundred years I'll be revived and cured. That way, future generations will get the benefits of knowing me." Wally says, "I hope you have a good warm coat." The Boss asks, "Coat? Nobody said anything about needing a coat." Wally explains, "Obviously you need a coat. It's freezing in that cryogenic chamber. You'd better wear long underwear too." Wally continues, "Don't let then tell you otherwise. Remember, the customer is always right!" The Boss walks away thinking, "I want a space heater in there too!" Dilbert tells Wally, "That wasn't nice." Wally replies, "I did it for future generations."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags karoshi, Wally, Dilbert, the boss, business meeting, japanese, worklife balance

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boos, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It's called karoshi." The Boss continues, "I don't want that to happen to anybody in my department." The Boss continues, "The trick is to take a break as soon as you see a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, email, the president, Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the paper and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "It says the president can now receive electronic mail." Dogbert asks, "Really?" Dogbert stands on the desk chair and types, "Dear Mr. President, I would like to make a few suggestions on how to run the country." Dogbert types, "As you know, the citizens are mostly imbeciles." Dogbert types, "You should give an executive order for all people to march into the sea." Dogbert types, "Then, the few of us who are smart enough to ignore you can divide up their stuff." Dogbert types, "This may seem slightly immoral, but it's better than having a bunch of unwanted people clogging up the country." Dogbert pauses. Dogbert types, "And we won't have to hear your brother sing anymore. Sincerely, Ross Perot."