Volunteered To Quit Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

118 Results for Volunteered To Quit

View 41 - 50 results for volunteered to quit comic strips. Discover the best "Volunteered To Quit" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2000's comic on:


Tags #files, #hid files, #skeleton, #babe, #home wrecker

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok peers into a closet with lots of janitorial supplies and in the middle of which is a tall stack of files. He thinks: "I have found where Ted hid his files before he quit." Inside the closet he also finds a skeleton. He thinks: "A skeleton! I know what I must do." Asok is in his cubicle. He has placed the skeleton, who is now wearing the threads of a mop as a hairpeice, in a chair next to him. Asok is busy with his computer. Wally asks Asok: "Who's the babe?" Asok warns Wally: "Stay away homewrecker."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #quit job, #next year, #extra week vacation, #every ten years

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to Dilbert as they walk, "I'd quit this job, but next year I'll get an extra week of vacation." Dilbert replies, "If you get an extra week for every ten years of services..." Dilbert continues, "...you'll be happy in 480 years. Good plan." Alice replies, not humored "Shut up."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2000's comic on:


Tags #email, #email monkey, #feeling of self worth, #quit whenever

View Transcript

Transcript

Sitting at his computer, Asok thinks to himself "Send. Ooh!" Asok thinks to himself, "I get a tiny feeling of self-worth when I send e-mail to my boss." Dilbert says to Wally, loud enough for Asok to hear, "Looks like someone has an e-mail monkey on his back." Asok replies, "I can quit whenever I want!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #email, #addiction, #monkey on back, #resist, #key board with foot

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I have an email monkey on my back, but I can quit whenever I want. I don't need to check it every minute. I can resist. But Look! The stupid monkey hot my keyboard with his foot!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #meeting to discuss, #employee retention, #employees quit, #useless meetings, #reasons, #first meetings

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss comes into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "We're having a meeting to discuss employee retention." Dilbert replies, "Tell them that employees quit because there are too many useless meetings." The Boss says, "We won't be getting into reasons at the first meeting."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2001's comic on:


Tags #schematic, #office politics, #ruin teds career, #say bad things, #rumor mill, #ted is history, #backfired, #tested, #phil quit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his desk drawing a map. He says, "I've created a schematic of office politics in my company." Dogbert says, "Nicely done." Dilbert says, "Let's say I want to ruin Ted's career." Dilbert continues, "I could say bad things to Tina about Ted. Tina carpools with Ming and Ming takes yoga classes with Carol." Dilbert continues, "And Carol is a secretary for Ted's boss. So Ted would be history." Dilbert continues, "Of course it wouldn't be ethical to test the system." Dogbert replies, "Unless..." Dogbert points to the map and continues, "..You use the Phil-Alice-Larry circuit to get Ted rehired." Dilbert replies, "Yup, yup." Dilbert concludes talking to Tina with, "...And that's why Ted is worthless." He pauses and then asks, "Hey, where's Phil today?" Tina replies, "He quit." Dilbert asks Dogbert at home, "Why do I listen to you?" Dogbert responds, "Because of a little thing I call charisma."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2001's comic on:


Tags #service anniversary, #20 years, #one year pins, #asked for money, #six years, #pay for pins, #card with wrong name, #unappreciative, #creepy business practices

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches from behind with a package in his hand and says, "Happy service anniversary, Alice." The Boss continues, "We're out of twenty-year pins so I got twenty of the one- year pins." The Boss hands Alice the package and says, "You can pin these babies all over your blouse... or fishing hat if you prefer." The Boss continues, "The card says, 'To Kathy' but it was never opened. For some reason she quit the day she got her twenty pins." The Boss continues, "Incidentally, I have to charge you $262 for the pins. The company doesn't pay for them." Alice holds the box angrily. Alice responds, "First of all, I've only worked here for about six years.." The Boss interrupts, "Wow, you look older. Anyway, just give me the $262 and throw away eight pins and we'll call it good." Alice rolls up her sleeve and shakes with anger. She holds one arm back with the other. The Boss asks, "Why are you rolling up your sleeve? Are you going to pin them to your arm?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2002's comic on:


Tags #man hating supervisor, #men are oblvious, #i quit, #vials, #storage room, #self respect, #no fun

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Man-Hating Supervisor. The supervisor says to The Boss, "The men here are oblivious to my abuse. What did you do to them?" The Boss replies, "I siphoned off their self-respect and keep it in vials in a storage room." The supervisor says, "This is no fun. I quit." The Boss responds, "Do you want to yell at the vials with me?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2002's comic on:


Tags #bad job, #package, #quit without notice, #severance package

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina asks The Boss, "What's our current severance package?" The Boss answers, "I transfer you to a bad job and you quit without giving notice." Tina says, "I hate your package." The Boss replies, "I hear that a lot."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2002's comic on:


Tags #restructed, #repurposed, #reassigned, #volunteered to quit

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Ted, "Ted, you have ten seconds to decide if you want to be restructured, repurposed, or reassigned." Ted exclaims, "Repurposed! No, wait.. restructured.. No, reassigned! No, repurposed!" Catbert asks The Boss, "How many people volunteered to quit and didn't know?" The Boss responds, "Two out of Three!"