Worth Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

83 Results for Worth

View 41 - 50 results for worth comic strips. Discover the best "Worth" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #failed ceo, #worth 100 million, #all reverse, #head in glass, #successful engineer, #kind of funny

View Transcript

Transcript

RAtbert: You're a successful engineer and I'm a failed CEO. It's kind of funny that I'm worth $100 million and you're not. " It's funny because it's all reverse of how it should be." Dilbert: "It's funny because your head wouldn't normally fit inside a glass."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2005's comic on:


Tags #absent monded, #cauliflower, #replace brain, #specialist, #untested, #worth a cahnce

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm referring you to a specialist who can treat your absent-mindedness." "His method is untested, but I think it's worth a chance." "You'll replace my brain with a cauliflower?" "They're just like brains, but much cheaper."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2005's comic on:


Tags #venture capitalist, #most desparate, #vc business, #idea worth funding, #crooked teeth

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm Vijay, the world's most desperate venture capitalist." "The VC business is more competitive than ever. I'm going to stalk you until you come up with an idea worth funding." "No pressure, but all of my kids have crooked teeth."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Here's a game card that gives you a chance to win groceries." "No thanks. Just take a penny off my bill and we'll call it even." "Um...I can't do that." "Why not? Isn't that game card worth a penny?" "We don't have a procedure." "How's that my problem?" "Look, maybe you could eat something that's worth a penny and I'll look the other way." "How about a grape? I like grapes." "It would have to be one that's been on the floor." "It tasted like victory."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Our CEO got a $400,000,000 bonus this year. Can I get that too?" "Wally, he got that much because he's a million times more important than you." "Fair enough. Can I have the $400 that you say I'm worth?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, you need to use up your vacation days before the end of the year." "You told me I had to finish my project before the end of the year." "I have 19 vacation days to use and there are 19 work days left in the year." "That leaves zero days to do 19 days worth of work." "You could work on weekends and use weekdays for vacation." "Why the @#$% would I do that?!!" "Because vacations reduce your stress. Duh." "You'd think that would be obvious." "AAIEEE!!!" PUNCH!!!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Every absence counts as one 'occurrence' whether it is one day or more." "I just got a headache. I'll see you in a year. Or as I like to call it, one occurrence." "If something is worth having, it's worth abusing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2007's comic on:


Tags #art, #criticism, #irritation, #worth

View Transcript

Transcript

Art Department Dogbert: I am Dogbert, the quantifier of unquantifiable things. I declare you to be worth $85. No one likes to be quantified.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2008's comic on:


Tags #boss takes credit, #self loathing, #blame, #taking credit, #desparate, #good idea, #bad idea

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Who thought of this idea? The Boss: I came up with it all by myself. My subordinates, who have a healthy fear of losing their jobs, had nothing to do with it. Right? Wally: We're not worth the oxygen we breathe. Dilbert: I don't even know why I'm here. CEO: I asked because it's an awful idea. The Boss: You said I was stealing credit for a good idea, you lying liar!! CEO: Oh, wait. I read it wrong. This is actually a great idea. The Boss: Thanks. I know it was a winner when I thought of Dilbert: You gave him a good idea? Wally: Not intentionally. It must have been a typo.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2008's comic on:


Tags #80thousand, #forboding, #funny story, #paper, #print long document, #printer paper

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Ted, I have a funny story for you!" Ted says,"Why am I filled with a sense of foreboding?" The Boss says, "So I was trying to print a long document, hee-hee!" The Boss says, "But when I went to the printer, the document wasn't there!" The Boss says, "For the next three days I kept trying and trying, but the document never showed up at the printer!" The Boss says, "It turns out I was checking the wrong printer. The right printer used $80,000 worth of paper that week." Ted says, "And how does this affect me?" The Boss says, "You and paper just became an either-or situation."