Random Number Generator Comic Strips - Page 5

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196 Results for Random Number Generator

View 41 - 50 results for Random Number Generator comic strips. Discover the best "Random Number Generator" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags algorithm, attraction, creative men, creativity is random, dating, free will, humans, illusion, moist robots, parties, shop around, short term relationsips, relationships

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Woman: Okay, what's going on here? Dilbert: I'm creative. Studies show that women prefer creative men for short-term relationships. Woman: That plant is random, not creative. Dilbert: Creativity is random. If creativity were anything but random, someone would have figured out the algorithm by now. I notice that your pupils are dilating. That's a sign of attraction. My plan is working. Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots. Just relax and let it happen. Woman: This is weird. I'm actually attracted to you now. Dilbert: Thanks, but I'm going to shop around. Woman: My world no longer makes sense! Dilbert: Walk it off.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags brag, contributions, ego, hours of work, man of ideas, meeting, business

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Wally: My contributions can't be measured by the number of hours I work. I'm a man of ideas. One great idea is worth more than all of you put together. Boss: Fine. Let's hear your great idea. Wally: You just did.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, rich people, top 1%, Women, sisters, hot, attraction, co worker, relationships

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Wally: Now that I'm a top one-percenter, I wonder what kind of women I'll attract. Do you have any sisters back home? I'm asking because you'd be totally hot if you were a woman. So I'm thinking hoo-ah! Asok: I cannot count the number of ways this is wrong.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags celebrations, new year's day, happy new year, oxytocin drug dealer, magical thinking, space time continuum

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Woman: Happy New Year! Dilbert: Whoa! Settle down. I don't celebrate the magical thinking that says one random point in the space-time continuum is somehow special. Woman: It's just a hug. You'll enjoy it. Dilbert: You're like some sort of Oxytocin drug dealer.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, worry, complints, creepy speech, massage therapist, rusty van

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Boss: Pete, I'm getting complaints that everything you say is creepy. Man: You seem tense. I should give you the number of my massage therapist, "Rubbin, Robin." Boss: You're doing it again. Man: I don't have an address because he works out of a rusty van.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags direction, managers, increase clairty, whining

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CEO: employees keep whining that we don't have a clear direction. So Ive doubled the number of managers one each group to increase the clarity. The Boss: I thought we were doubling the direction. No, we're doubling the clarity.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaining, communication skills, poor skills, random numbers, spreadsheet, clarify, listening skills

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Woman says, "This isn't what I wanted." Dilbert says, "I know." Dilbert says, "Your communication skill are so poor that I gave up trying to understand what you wanted and instead put some random numbers on a spreadsheet." Woman says, "Why didn't you just ask me to clarify?!" Dilbert says, "Apparently your listening skills need work too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, meetings, buddha jogging, reliability stats, data does not exist, random numbers, deep understanding of reality

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The Boss says, "Asok, get me the reliability stats for our previous model." Asok says, "I am fairly certain the data does not exist." The Boss says, "Wally can show you how to get it." Wally says, "Come with me." Wally says, "You start by typing random numbers into a spreadsheet." Asok says,"Then what?" Wally says, "Then you're done." Wally says, "All business data is intentionally misleading. I just take it to the next level." Wally says, "A deep understanding of reality is exactly the same thing as laziness." Asok says, "That can't be right." Wally says, "Have you ever seen a statue of Buddha jogging?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer, headset, marketing research, social security number, bank pin, maiden name, poverty, identity theft, technology

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Dogbert says, "Hello, this is the Dogbert Market Research Company. May I ask you some totally harmless questions?" Dogbert says, "What is your social security number, bank pin number and mother's maiden name?" Dilbert says, "What exactly are you researching?" Dogbert says, "Poverty rates. I'm shooting for 100%."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer, engineer, worst user interface, click, sell social security number, overhead view of cubicle, technology, engineering

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Dilber thinks, "The world's greatest engineer prepares to do battle with the world's worst user interface." Dilbert thinks, "I hope that did something." Computer says, "Your social security number has been sold."