Above Salary Midpoint Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

143 Results for Above Salary Midpoint

View 41 - 50 results for above salary midpoint comic strips. Discover the best "Above Salary Midpoint" comics from Dilbert.com.

Hiring A Co Ceo

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hiring A Co Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceos, #executives, #wages, #work ethic, #co ceo, #break tie, #manioulate, #pay, #hire, #split salary, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I decided to hire a co-CEO to share the job with me. Dilbert: I assume you know that having a co-CEO does not mean you get paid the same while working half as much. CEO: Can I fire you? Co-CEO: No, we need a third CEO to break the tie.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #graphic design, #graphic designers, #outsourcing, #new employee, #subcontract, #starngers, #internet, #5% salary, #undermind, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, meet our new graphic designer. Dilbert: If I had your job, I would secretly sub it out to strangers on the Internet and pay them 5% of my salary while I did nothing all day. Oops, sorry. I didn't know you were already there.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company culture, #culture, #hiring, #incompetence, #work culture, #good fit, #stigma, #cultural hires, #wishes, #rise above

View Transcript

Transcript

Larry: Hi, I'm Larry. I was hired because I'm a good cultural fit. I hope we can get past the stigma that cultural hires are incompetent. But I don't know how to do that. Alice: Maybe you could ask a competent person to help you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #inventions, #decoy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My invention will change the world and get me promoted three levels above you. Boss: Haa-chaaa! Sorry. I'm usually more subtle. Dilbert: No worries. This was a decoy.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #patents, #patent applications, #desiccated turnip

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Put my name above yours on all of your patent applications. Because your brain, without the genius of my leadership, would be like a desiccated turnip. All you are, and all you will ever be... Dilbet: Right... got it... name on patent...

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #above average, #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #top 110%, #study of managers, #percentages, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: A study says that 74% of managers think they are above average. That means that 36% of managers aren't aware that they are above average too. Dilbert: The way I look at it, you're all in the top 110%. Boss: Exactly. Thank you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #money, #raise, #higher pay, #income higher, #boss salary, #intuition, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you the raise you deserve because it would make your pay higher than mine. Alice: I don't see how that's a problem. Boss: Let me explain it to you this way, Alice. If you make more money than I do your compensation would be greater than mine. Alice: That's not a reason, you ignorant baboon! Boss: Okay, how about... I must be smarter than you because my income is higher. Alice: Gaaa!!! Boss: When I don't have reasons for things, is that called intuition or just common sense?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #retail business, #service business, #buy company's prodcut, #pulling teeth, #commissions to salary, #free from tyranny, #customer service, #less than ideal, #no paperwork

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I want to buy your company's product but it's like pulling teeth with you. Man: Ha ha! I switched from commissions to a guaranteed salary. I'm free from the tyranny of customer service! Dilbert: This is less than ideal. Man: No paperwork for me! Woot! Woot!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exercise & fitness, #office workers, #engineers, #telomeres, #value work, #company gym, #slacker trap

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're looking for engineers with short telomeres for their age. That's an indication that you value work above exercise. Man: But you have a company gym. Boss: That's our slacker trap!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #suspicion, #features for product, #overstaffed, #spare time, #job description, #healthy raise, #highest performance rating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: In my spare time I created some awesome new features for our product. Boss: GAAA!!! Shut the door! Dilbert: What?!! Boss: You fool! If my boss finds out you have spare time, he'll think we're overstaffed! You can never speak of these awesome new features again. Dilbert: I'm confused. You told me I need to go above and beyond my job description to get the highest performance rating. Boss: That's just something I say to keep you from getting a healthy raise. Dilbert: So... I lose no matter what I do? Boss: For what it's worth, you're doing better than our customers.