Add Resource Comic Strips - Page 5

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140 Results for Add Resource

View 41 - 50 results for add resource comic strips. Discover the best "Add Resource" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #interviews, #tools for job, #resource, #agree to disagree, #business

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Boss: Question four: do you have the tools to do your job? Wally: That depends. Do you consider yourself a tool? Boss: I'm a resource. Wally: Let's agree to disagree.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #office workers, #planning, #assignments, #entre schedule, #next assignment

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Wally: I spent all of last week planning how to get everything done this week. Boss: Add one more thing. Wally: Okay, but I'll need to replan my entire schedule. Boss: How long will that take? Wally: Until you give me the next assignment.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #writing, #writing materials, #five technology plan, #plan for ceo, #pie chart

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Boss: I need you to put together a five-year technology plan for our CEO. Dilbert: Sure. How about "tomorrow will be the same as today, and next year will be all flying cars and whatnot." Boss: Word it up and put a bow on it. Dilbert: I'll add a pie chart for the sizzle.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #conversation, #discussion, #valuable input, #hear alarm

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Boss: When are you meeting with the customer? I'll join you to add my valuable input. Noise: Slurp. Dilbert: Does everyone hear that alarm or is it only in my head? Boss: I can stay all afternoon.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #groceries & grocery stores, #natural disasters, #saving & investment, #complete meltdown, #financial system, #six months, #Food, #water, #batteries, #gold coins, #light on defensive weapontry, #protein bars, #money

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Dilbert: I'm preparing for the complete meltdown of our financial system. I've got six months of food and water. I have batteries, flashlights, and gold coins. Alice: I'm prepare too. I have your home address. And I noticed that your preparations are light on defensive weaponry. Can you add some protein bars to the shopping list?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embarrassment, #walkways, #minute, #meeting, #walk and talk, #barely concentrate, #prove underling wrong, #business

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Dilbert: Do you have a minute? Boss: I'm on my way to a meeting. Follow me. We'll walk and talk. Dilbert: I don't see how this can possibly work. You can barely concentrate when you're sitting perfectly still. When you add the extra complexity of walking, it's like asking a squirrel to land a 747. Boss: Must... prove underling... wrong... Noise: BONK! Dilbert: I didn't know that being right could feel so good.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #office buildings, #open workspace, #environemnt, #crying baby spunds, #more distractions

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Boss: The company is considering moving from cubicles to an open workspace environment. Dilbert: Great idea. Can we add some crying babies and the sound of water dripping? Boss: You're being stupid. Dilbert: Maybe I'll be smarter when I have more distractions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #seven layers of management, #lead company, #unknowingly, #bad idea, #input to avoid, #ceo, #middle management

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CEO: I plant to add seven more layers of management between you and me. My goal is to lead the company without knowing anything about it. Boss: That sounds like a bad idea. CEO: This sort of input is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #paper, #objective, #toil, #stockholders, #parasite, #managers, #write

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Dilbert says, "You wrote that your objective for the year is to?" The Boss says, "?Obscurely toil to increase the unearned wealth of our parasitic stockholders." The Boss says, "I'll add 'and managers.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #friend matrix, #coworker, #sit at computer, #computer expert, #frisky friend, #low standards

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Coworker says, "I'm updating my friend resource matrix and I have a few gaps." Coworker says, "I already have a friend with a truck, a friend who gives me free tickets, and a friend with tools." Coworker says, "I've got openings for a computer expert friend and a frisky friend with low standards." Dilbert says, "I'll try the computer one."