Average Woman Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

603 Results for Average Woman

View 41 - 50 results for average woman comic strips. Discover the best "Average Woman" comics from Dilbert.com.

Just What She Thought

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Just What She Thought - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #distraction, #technology, #conversation, #social interaction, #antisocial

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I'd better check this. It's just what I thought. Dilbert: What did you think? Woman: I thought I would enjoy my phone more than talking to you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #overanalyzing, #asking out, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Do you want to go to dinner and a movie with me on Friday? Dilbert: That plan is poorly conceived. The best time to watch a movie is also the best time to eat. And what are the odds we want to see the same movie? You're a picky eater, so it would be a nightmare to decide where we both want to eat. One of us would have to compromise, and I assume it would be me. I'm offended by your offer to suboptimize my Friday experience. Woman: Do you have a better option? Dilbert: Nope. See you Friday.

When Wally Will Be Finished

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
When Wally Will Be Finished - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #soon, #deadline, #procrastination, #standoff

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Can you get that done by Friday? Wally: I'll get back to you on that. Woman: When will you get back to me? Wally: Soon. Woman: How soon? Wally: I can do this all day.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #logic, #false logic, #imagination, #managers, #review, #performance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because your performance was only average. Dilbert: How can you calculate an average for my performance? No one has ever been in my exact situation. Boss: I compared you to other employees. Dilbert: You compared me to strangers doing entirely different things? Boss: No, I compared you to imaginary people doing your exact job. It's called managing, and I'm very good at it. Dilbert: How do you know you're good at it? Boss: Because imaginary people do this job worse than I do.

Miracle Of Consciousness

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Miracle Of Consciousness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jaded, #blase, #unimpressed, #dating, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Do you ever marvel at the miracle of consciousness? Dilbert: No. People are just fish plus time. Woman: Does anything amaze you? Dilbert: This is my longest date ever! 49 minutes!

Trapped Under Rubble

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Trapped Under Rubble - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #freedom, #guest artist, #happiness, #job, #misery, #satisfaction, #john glynn, #business, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I miss the freedom I had as an Uber driver. This job feels like being trapped under rubble. Wally: We old-timers have a name for that feeling. Asok: What is it? Wally: "Better than average."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #fitbit, #hackers, #hacking, #information, #privacy, #spying, #surveillance, #technology, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Hackers Convention. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. Woman: I know. I just hacked your phone, your credit card, and your fitness band. No need for conversation. I know everything about you, including your current physiological state. Dilbert: I feel violated. Woman: No, you don't. Your vital signs are elevated. That means you're falling in love with me. Dilbert: Ha! I just hacked your fitness band and I see you have... no interest in me whatsoever. It was too late to reject her first.

Yoga For Posture

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Yoga For Posture - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #yoga, #posture, #dating, #attraction, #Women, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I don't know what to do about my bad posture. Dogbert: Try yoga. Dilbert: Ooh, good idea. That will also improve my odds of meeting an attractive yoga-loving woman. Man: That was my plan too, but the full-stack guys gut here early and scared away the yoga women.

Fbi Has Been Tracking Asok

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fbi Has Been Tracking Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #terrorism, #terrorist, #radicalization, #extremism, #frustration, #manager, #leader, #fbi

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: We've been tracking an accused terrorist named Asok. We believe he was radicalized here. Woman: What did you do to him? Boss: Leadership? Man: Yup. That's the top cause.

Retirement Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Retirement Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #retirement, #future, #planning, #plan, #death, #aging, #work, #savings, #dying, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I saw an article that says most people don't have any kind of retirement plan. Wally: I plan to live an unhealthy lifestyle and pass away in my cubicle, preferably on a Monday. Dilbert: That's a terrible plan. Wally: Better than average, according to you.