Bat Your Head Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

579 Results for Bat Your Head

View 41 - 50 results for bat your head comic strips. Discover the best "Bat Your Head" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Inflates His Own Head

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Inflates His Own Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bonus, #ceos, #competition, #executives, #height, #money, #salary, #wages

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Now that our policy is to pay people based on height, your CEO salary is capped, too. CEO: That's what you think. Watch what happens when I hold my nose and close my mouth and blow. Catbert: Well, I guess it only needs to last until bonus season.

View more books now

Blist Point For 3 D Goggles

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Blist Point For 3 D Goggles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer retention, #death, #immersive technology, #moratlity, #technology, #virtual reality, #immersive 3d head gear, #starved, #bliss point, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We found the "bliss point" for immersive 3-D headgear. The product is so good that 87% of our customers starved to death while using it. CEO: We never get the customer retention part right.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #laziness, #productivity, #work ethic, #sensors detect, #cubicle, #engineering, #problem, #five years, #robot, #boss, #temporary boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Temporary Robot Boss. Robot: My sensors detect no work coming from this cubicle. Wally: That's because I have been working on an engineering problem in my head for five years. Robot: Are you almost done? Wally: I was, but you just made me forget all of it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analogies, #creativity, #haters, #ideas, #trapped ideas, #attract haters, #zombies to fish syicks, #analogy, #great ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My best ideas are trapped in my head. Whenever I voice my ideas, I attract haters like zombies to fish sticks. Wally: IS that analogy one of your great ideas? Dilbert: I don't like the way you asked that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gadgets, #beat up, #strangers, #new glasses, #with camera, #less creepy, #defenseless, #user error, #photoshopped, #head on donkey

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Strangers keep beating me up for wearing our new glasses product with a camera. Boss: Have you tried acting less creepy and defenseless? Dilbert: No. Boss; Sounds like user error. Dilbert: I just Photoshopped your head on a donkey.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #acting ceo, #rolex accident, #power crazed, #obliterated human decency, #abuse of power, #furry friend

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: The board wants you to be our acting CEO until our regular CEO recovers from his Rolex accident. Boss: Buwhahaha!!! The power has gone to my head and obliterated my last crumb of human decency! Catbert: You're creeping me out. Boss: I'm going to buff my shoes with you, my furry friend.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gods, #language, #elbonian language, #bixtappa, #deity, #mud adder, #strangle

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We discovered that our product name is an insult in the Elbonian language. So I hired an Elbonian to review our new choices. Elbonian: Gaaa!!! You have offended Bixtappa, the deity of unseasonably warm weather and twice-baked potatoes. Our tradition says I must now strangle you with a mud adder. Luckily, I brought one. Dilbert: Do Elbonians have a lot of deities? Elbonian: No, just the one. Dilbert: He seems easily offended. Elbonian: Grab the head and yank!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #charitable organizations, #competition (psychology), #raise money, #shave head, #bald man

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: If we raise $40,000 for charity, I will shave my head! Wally: And if we raise no money at all, I will shave my head. Boss: That's messed up. Wally: Is it?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #flattery, #happiness, #underlings, #achievemnets, #warrants praise, #under budget, #head pat, #boss, #enjoys head pat, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I read an article that says leaders should acknowledge the achievements of their underlings. Have you done anything lately that warrants some praise? Boss: Well... I'm under budget because I forgot to staff one of our projects. CEO: Okay, I can work with that. Now I think I'm supposed to pat you on the head or something. Let's try that and see how we feel. Stop leaning in. Boss: Feels... so... good.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #ignorance (knowledge), #new guy, #first day, #calling in sick, #message, #problem getting dressed, #head in arm hole, #boss can relate, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: It's the new guys first day and he's calling in sick. His message says he was putting on his shirt and got his head caught in an arm hole. Good hire. Boss: I had that same problem with my pants.