Being Professional Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

551 Results for Being Professional

View 41 - 50 results for being professional comic strips. Discover the best "Being Professional" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bad Analogy Guy Fits In

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad Analogy Guy Fits In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, insults, office, office workers, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Hi. I'm the bad analogy guy. I can't tell the difference between thinking and simply being reminded of unrelated things. Wally: You'll fit in well here. Man: You dress like a liar.

Toxic Employee Was Right

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Toxic Employee Was Right - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, fire, managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: does anyone have any suggestions for improving our company culture? dilbert: for starters, you could fire the toxic employee you hired for no good reason. boss whispers to toxic employee: you were right about dilbert being a hater. toxic employee: you should hear what he says about you.

Homeless Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Homeless Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags concern, cost, employees, homeless persons, office workers, pretend

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: We need to do something about our employees being homeless. Housing costs are too high around here. Boss: Maybe we could pay them more. Dogbert: I was thinking more along the lines of pretending to be concerned. Boss: I like where you're going with this.

Leaders Have Differen Memories

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Leaders Have Differen Memories - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, meeting, office, stupid, leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: we had a leadership meeting to decide how to move forward. the boss: but all the leaders left the meeting with wildly different ideas about what we agreed on. carol: how do you leaders plan to solve that? the boss: phase one involves accusing each other of being stupid.

Keyboard Clicks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Keyboard Clicks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, cell phone, office, office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i noticed you have your keyboard click sounds activated. i've been listening to it all morning. the boss holding cell phone: i don't know how to make it stop. alice: i'll show you. frame shows outside of office building with phone being thrown out window.

Why Is Dilbert Arrogant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why Is Dilbert Arrogant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, intelligence, office, office workers, relationships, arrogance

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: why are you so arrogant? dilbert: that's an illusion caused be a combination of your low intelligence and my track record of being right all the time. office worker: you're being arrogant again! dibert: or am I just right?

Being Like A Man

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Being Like A Man - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags advertising, business, criticism, men and women, relations between the sexes, sales

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new advertising campaign is "Don't be like men." The ad starts with a montage of bad male behavior, from mansplaining to genocide. Then we show our product. Alice: Did a woman come up with this campaign? Boss: Stop being like a man.

Gut Feeling

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Gut Feeling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, tests, data, instinct

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Why are we going ahead with the plan when the data says it can't succeed? Boss: I manage by instinct and gut feelings. Dilbert: How's that different from being insane or stupid? Boss: My gut says I should not listen to you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoyance, insults, office, office workers, people, sarcasm, introvert, coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Sometimes it seems as if you don't like me. Dilbert: Don't be ridiculous. I'm just an introvert. Being around people drains my energy. I only avoid you because spending five minutes with you feels like being buried alive. With fleas instead of dirt. Tina: So...it isn't personal? Dilbert: I need a nap.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boredom, panic, technology, smartphone, thoughts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm turning off my digital devices so I can spend some time with my thoughts. Dogbert: That sounds like a terrible idea. Do you remember what your quiet thoughts were like? Dilbert: Not really. But how bad could it be? This isn't so bad. Just a bit boring. Five minutes later. Dilbert: I'm getting the shakes. The boredom has metastasized. Gaaaa!!! The boredom is overwhelming! Kill me! Kill me! Dogbert: Maybe you should have tried being with people. Dilbert: It was already bad enough.