Bottom 10% Comic Strips - Page 5

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83 Results for Bottom 10%

View 41 - 50 results for bottom 10% comic strips. Discover the best "Bottom 10%" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #target market, #one customer, #10 thousand units, #shop carefully

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Dilbert: "Our target market is people who don't shop carefully." "Our product is designed to attack the user and force him to reorder." "We only have one customer but we've sold 10,000 units."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2004's comic on:


Tags #repeat customer, #rate of recidivism, #focus on marketing, #learn from experience, #free knuckle tattoo, #nicknames for women, #free book, #criminals, #dumb

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The boss: "We only have a 10% repeat customer rate whereas prisons have a 70% rate of recidivism." "We need to focus our marketing on criminals because they don't learn from experience." "Order now and get a free knuckle tattoo plus our free book 1,001 nicknames for women."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2004's comic on:


Tags #office relocation., #new cubicle, #less roomy, #need butter, #torso, #slide in, #attracts rats, #cheap, #low budget

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Office relocation. Asok: Your new cubicle is less roomy than the old one. You will need this butter. Apply it liberally to your torso area and you can slide right in. But don't stay in there for more than 10 minutes at a time because it attracts rats.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2003's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #cut costs, #bottom of ocena, #crushed by pressure, #breathing issue, #whiner, #labeled a whiner

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"Catbert, evil H.R. director." "In order to cut costs, some of you will be relocated to the bottom of the ocean." "Wouldn't we be crushed by the pressure?" "Every job has some pressure." "And then there's the breathing issue." "I label you a whiner."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2003's comic on:


Tags #too busy, #bottleneck, #document, #desk, #office

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"I can't do any more work on my project until you give your input, but you're too busy." "There's no polite way to say this: Bill, you're a bottleneck." "Your document is now saying hi to the bottom of the pile."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2003's comic on:


Tags #top down budget, #bottom up budget, #ignorance, #cruelty, #lying, #optimism, #cancel, #wasted hour

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Man: "I averaged the top-down budget with the bottom-up budget." "As you can see, the ignorance and cruelty canceled out the lying and optimism." Alice: "Do you have anything to cancel out feelings of a wasted hour?" Man: "Have you tried despair?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2003's comic on:


Tags #huge galatians project, #disqualified, #one minute late, #future depends on win bid, #winning bid, #future of company, #can't be late, #line dancing sign

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"After months of work, I finished our bid for the huge galatikus project." "I'll deliver it to them." "If it's on minute late, we'll be disqualified. The future of our company depends on us winning this bid." "He must think I'm a... Whoa, what's this?" "Irish line dancing lessons 10% off."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new marketing strategy, #past cutomers, #flu symptoms, #sick people, #appeal to sick people, #reinvent dead horse, #duh- mensuon, #floating scared darkness, #confusing cause & effect

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Jimmy will explain our new marketing strategy." Jimmy says, "A study of past customers shows that 96% of them have flu symptoms." Jimmy continues, "Apparently, sick people are the most likely to buy from us. We don't know why." Jimmy points to a slide of an ill man and says, "So we redesigned our ad campaign to appeal to sick people." Alice says to Jimmy, "You're confusing cause and effect. Your study shows that our products make people sick." Jimmy responds, "Alice, let's not reinvent a dead horse." Alice panics and says, "Suddenly nothing makes sense.. I must have slipped into the meeting duh-mension!" Alice leans back in a daze and says, "Floating.. Scared.. Darkness." The Boss says, "This usually lasts about 10 minutes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2002's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #boss requested, #3 weeks, #organized, #wasting time, #meeting about, #brew coffeee, #exaggerating accomplishments, #business

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The Boss interrupts a meeting and says, "Dilbert, can you come with me to a meeting?" Dilbert responds, "Actually, no. I'm running this meeting and it took three weeks to get everyone together." Dilbert says, "If I leave now, sixteen people will be wasting their time." Wally says, "I'll cover for you." Dilbert says to Wally, "You will?" Wally replies, "Sure. Just leave your notes and I'll take care of it." Dilbert follows The Boss and says, "What's the meeting about?" The Boss responds, "It's not exactly a meeting." The Boss, "I need someone to drink the crud on the bottom and then brew a fresh pot." Back at the meeting, Wally calls a vote, "All in favor of leaving before he gets back." Everyone raises their hands. Dilbert returns to an empty meeting. He thinks, "It looks like I'll be exaggerating my accomplishments again this year."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2002's comic on:


Tags #acquired benefits, #adopt program, #blend benefits progarm, #blending, #evil director, #maternity leave, #merger approved, #smokers

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "The merger has been approved." The Boss continues, "Our evil director of human resources will blend the acquired company's benefits with our own." Alice, Dilbert, and Wally cry, "WAAA! WAAA! WAAA!" The Boss thinks, "Apparently they know what blending means." Catbert says to the other HR director, "Let's see... My company offers six months of maternity leave for mothers." The other HR director replies, "We treat 'em like smokers. They have to squat in the parking lot for 10 minutes then go back to work." Catbert says, "That's very evil.. We'll adopt your program." The other HR director responds, "Thanks." The Boss reads the new benefits plan. He asks, "What is 'draining?' Catbert responds, "Our company called it training."