Bunk On Back Of Head Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for bunk on back of head comic strips. Discover the best "Bunk On Back Of Head" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Recommends Blockchain

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Boss Recommends Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #computer software, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #technology

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CEO: I don't understand why you are recommending blockchain for this application. Boss: My staff are the experts, but I can explain the basic idea. You see, using blockchain is like losing a necklace on the beach. Then a seagull finds the necklace and takes it back to it's nest. And we all like data security, don't we? CEO: It's almost as if you are proposing a plan you don't understand at any level. Boss: Well, yes, but keep in mind that you wouldn't understand it even if I could explain it. CEO: But you're sure someone on your staff understands it, right? Boss: Define "sure".

Dilbert Gets His Head Fixed

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Dilbert Gets His Head Fixed  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confused, #employees, #frustration, #garbage, #help, #office workers

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Garbage Man: Looks like you've been beating your head against a wall in frustration. Stick your head in this garbage can to fix it. Dilbert: Why is this working? Garbage Man: Why wouldn't it?

Thinking

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Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #danger, #employees, #frustration, #office workers, #thinking

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Dilbert: Please don't stare at my head. I've been banging it against a wall to reduce my frustration. Alice: That sounds dangerous. Dilbert: I thought so too, at first. Alice: And now? Dilbert: Now I don't think. I'm much happier.

Head Banging Outcome

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Head Banging Outcome  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #frustration, #office workers

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Wally: What happened to your head? Dilbert: I've been banging it against a wall to reduce my frustration with my co-workers. Wally: Is it working? Dilbert: I think so because I don't remember your name.

Read The Manual

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Read The Manual - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer software, #employees, #frustrated, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology

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Dilbert: We need to fix our user interface because half of our users can't figure it out. Boss: Tell them to read the manual. Dilbert: That's not how you fix a bad user interface. Boss: Then why do manuals exist? Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be banging my head against a wall.

Boss Makes Document Suggestions

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Boss Makes Document Suggestions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #frustrated, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #report, #sarcasm

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Boss: Run this by Tina before you send it out. Dilbert: I already did. Boss: Make sure legal signs off on it. Dilbert: They did. Boss: Add the revenue graph from Alice's slide deck. Dilbert: It's in the exhibits in the back. Boss: You need to compare this plan to the "do nothing" option. Dilbert: That's on the next page. Boss: I need you to change something on this document so my life has meaning. Dilbert: I put a misspelled word on page seven for you. Boss: Fix it.

Wally Monetizes His Pet Status

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Wally Monetizes His Pet Status - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #criticism, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe

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Carol: I hear you're our boss's new pet employee. Please don't tell him all of the bad things I have said about him behind his back. I'll give you a hundred dollars if you keep quiet. Wally: I knew I could monetize this.

Wally Gives Back The Baby

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Wally Gives Back The Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gender, #misunderstanding, #obliviousness, #Parenting, #adoption

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Dilbert: How's your adopted Elbonian baby doing? Wally: I had to give it back. It was a lot needier than I expected. Dilbert: Was the baby a boy or a girl? Wally: How would I know? It couldn't even speak yet.

When Wally Is Busy

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When Wally Is Busy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #busy, #witnesses

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tina: are you busy? wally: yes. tina: when should i check back? wally: when i'm not busy. tina: when are you not busy? wally: whenever there are no witnesses.

Saving Babies

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Saving Babies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #reputation, #fire

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dilbert: I have been cleared of all allegations against me, but where do i go to get my reputation back? dogbert: i recommend running into a burning building to save a baby. dilbert: what if no buildings are on fire? dogbert: have you heard of matches?