Change Seat Comic Strips - Page 5

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282 Results for Change Seat

View 41 - 50 results for change seat comic strips. Discover the best "Change Seat" comics from Dilbert.com.

Pipe Down, Coffee Intern

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Pipe Down, Coffee Intern - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #board meeting, #change, #coffee, #demotion, #ego, #ideas, #Promotion, #intern, #new ideas

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Asok: Is it wise to ride your coffee intern to a board meeting? Wally: Pipe down, coffee intern. If you were capable of thinking like a leader, you would be a VP too. Dilbert: Demoted already? Wally: The board does not like new ideas.

Male Parts And Nothing Can Change It

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Male Parts And Nothing Can Change It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2015's comic on:


Tags #discrimination, #fairness, #money, #salary, #sexism, #wages, #Women, #male body parts

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CEO: I explained to Alice why I earn more than she does, but she refuses to understand. I'm taller and I have male reproductive body parts. That's what stockholders care about, and nothing can change that. (Alice whistles as she walks with a pair of scissors and a mallet.)

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #expectation, #impossible, #irrational, #leadership, #motivation, #rationality

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Boss: How many days will it take to finish the tests? Dilbert: Three. Boss: You have two. Dilbert: I can't do it in two days. That's why I said three. Boss: That was before I used my leadership skills to tell you to do it in two days. Dilbert: Leadership doesn't change the laws of physics. The test takes three days. Boss: You have two. Leadership! These test results look incomplete. Dilbert: Just like my soul.

Dilbert Knows How To Negotiate

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Dilbert Knows How To Negotiate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #deadlines, #delivery, #management, #negotiating, #negotiation, #reorganization

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Negotiations Continue. Salesman: I can't meet your delivery deadline unless you agree to my price today. Dilbert: If you don't agree to my price today, management is likely to do a reorg soon and change its mind about this project. Salesman: How often does that happen? Dilbert: It hasn't happened since breakfast, so we're overdue.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2014's comic on:


Tags #bunch of names, #complaining, #name of new app, #new app, #underscore, #suggestions

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CEO: I don't like the name of our new app. You need to change it. Dilbert: Perhaps you can underscore your point by suggesting a bunch of names that are already taken. Do you mind if I think of other things while you do that?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2014's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #technology problem, #executive attention netowrk, #social awareness, #radical change, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: I have to warn you that I'll be going deep on a technology problem today. I'll be using the executive attention network of my brain at the expense of my social awareness. Boss: Sounds like a radical change. Dilbert: I can't tell if that was sarcasm.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2014's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #outsourced micromanaging, #amazons mechanical turk, #other countries, #computer cameras, #criticize, #resisting change

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Boss: I outsourced my micromanaging to Amazon's mechanical Turk. People in other countries will watch you on your computer cameras and criticize every move you make. Dilbert: That feels like a terrible idea. Turk: Stop resisting change.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2014's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #change recommendation, #approval, #feel ownership, #feel you own me, #ignorant decisions, #more clear, #agreement, #business

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Boss: Change your recommendation to the opposite of what you wrote and send it to me for approval. Dilbert: Why do I need approval for the thing you just approved? Boss: I want you to feel some ownership. Dilbert: I already feel that you own me. Boss: I mean that I want you to feel ownership of the recommendation. Dilbert: How can I feel ownership of your ignorant decisions? Boss: By getting my approval for them. I can't be more clear. Dilbert: At least we agree on that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2014's comic on:


Tags #obstinacy, #resistant to change, #reports, #terrible ideas, #confusing

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Boss: I'm getting reports again that you're resistant to change. Dilbert: I only resist terrible ideas but I can see how that would confuse you. Boss: Whatever you're doing, cut it out. Dilbert: Should I stop being rational in general or only i this one way?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2014's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #electronic mail, #successful habits, #eight things, #inspirational links, #emails, #change subject, #huge success

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Boss: Did you see my email about the eight things that successful people do? Dilbert: Yes. I did all eight things and now I'm a huge success. Boss: No you're not. Dilbert: I'm not? How's that possible? I did all of the things that successful people do. This only makes sense if the inspirational links you send me every day are a complete waste of time! So which one is it? Am I a huge success or do you email me worthless things? Boss: Maybe we should just change the subject. Dilbert: Is that what successful people do?