Choked To Death Comic Strips - Page 5
235 Results for Choked To Death
View 41 - 50 results for choked to death comic strips. Discover the best "Choked To Death" comics from Dilbert.com.
Boss: The health sensors and predictive algorithms you built into our smart watch are too good. People are freaked out because it sends alerts to their phones when they have five minutes left to live. Dilbert: Isn't that useful? Boss: It was, until we started sending paid ads as alerts.
Ted: The health sensors you built into our smart watch prototype aren't working. According to your stupid sensors, my heart is going to stop beating in... Dilbert: Yay me!
Dogbert: As you head to your horrible job, remember these inspirational words... In the long run, we're all dead. Dilbert: That feels like an oversimplification. Dogbert: I skipped the part where you suffer for 90 years.
Coworker: I noticed you don't do much work. Wally: My philosophy is that there will be plenty of time to work when I'm dead. Coworker: But you won't be here to do it. Wally: I guess you don't know what a perfect system looks like.
Dilbert: We found the "bliss point" for immersive 3-D headgear. The product is so good that 87% of our customers starved to death while using it. CEO: We never get the customer retention part right.
Dilbert: Hey, Ted, how do you like our new 3-D immersive goggles you've been testing for two weeks? Some people say the experience is so good that you forget to eat. You're dead, aren't you...
Wally: I would love to help you, Alice, but Dilbert says everything you are doing is misguided. Alice: What? I will whip him to death with his own intestines! Wally: Can you either do that quietly or wait until after my nap time?
Dogbert the Co-CEO. Dilbert: I have bad news. Your Co-CEO died trying to kitesurf some class 6 rapids for a publicity stunt. Dogbert: Get to the bad part. Is it margins?
Co-CEOs. Dogbert: Let's split the duties this way... I will be the CEO who attends boring meetings, and you can be more of a Richard Branson type who does dangerous publicity stunts. Co-CEO: I love that idea. Dogbert: And then there was one.
Boss: We mourn the untimely passing of our beloved colleague, Fred. We will never forget him. Dilbert: It was Ted, not Fred. Boss: Was he beloved? Wally: I don't remember. It was like a week ago.