Cigarette Box Comic Strips - Page 5

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135 Results for Cigarette Box

View 41 - 50 results for cigarette box comic strips. Discover the best "Cigarette Box" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2007's comic on:


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"This is the posterior of a healthy, unemployed woman." "Prolonged exposure to employment will create more of a box shape." "I'd offer you a lollipop, but it would only make things worse."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2007's comic on:


Tags #engineer, #magic vendors fault, #network, #shoebox, #twigs and leaves, #engineering

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Client: Your network product appears to be a shoe box full of twigs and leaves. Sales engineer: Hoho! Just wist util my engineer does his magic and integrates it with your network! Make it look like another vendor's fault.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2004's comic on:


Tags #suggestion box, #more money wanted, #all say money, #reading

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"Here are all the suggestions from the suggestion box." "Give us more money.Give us more money. Give us more money. Give us more money. Hey, hears one with a little diagram." "The wavy lines means it's hot there." "Is that why the pointy haired guy is sad?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2004's comic on:


Tags #gerbil, #marketing team, #cables, #engineering support

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Ted: I moved the meeting to Tuesday. Dilbert: "I can't make it on Tuesday." " Ted: Somehow I think the marketing team can survive one meeting without engineering support." Marketing team: "We'll include a pet gerbil in every box. We'll just need to make sure it's in a sealed plastic bag so it won't chew on the cables."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2003's comic on:


Tags #marketing genius, #rebate program, #process, #impenetrable fortress, #unclear instructions, #physical impossibilities, #hidden 300 digit, #serial number

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Headline: Marketing Genius. A business associate says to The Boss and Wally, "We designed a rebate program that won't cost a penny." The business associate continues, "The rebate process is an impenetrable fortress of unclear instructions and physical impossibilities. An elderly couple sits at a table reviewing bills. The man says, "Next time we have to find the hidden 300-digit serial number and write it in a box that's half an inch long." The woman replies, "Stinkin' weasels."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #eargarette, #smoking breaks, #downside, #cigarette for ear, #ear mint, #15 min break

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Dilbert is working with a device. He says to Dogbert, "I call my invention the 'Eargarette.'" Dilbert puts it behind his ear and says, "It's a cigarette for your ear!" Dilbert continues, "It allows non-smokers to take smoking breaks." Dogbert asks, "Is there any downside?" Dilbert responds, "What?" Dogbert says, "Never mind." Dilbert is in a meeting with The Boss and Wally. Dilbert says, "We've been working for fifteen minutes straight. I need an eargarette break." Dilbert and Wally are standing outside. Both have eargarettes in their ears. Dilbert asks, "What?" Wally replies, "What?" Dilbert asks again, "What?" Back in the meeting, Dilbert offers Wally, "Ear mint?" Wally replies, "Two, please."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2003's comic on:


Tags #blank cd, #demo, #empty case, #forgetting blank cd, #new product, #software, #travel, #travelled four hours, #unit, #once we write, #engineering

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Dilbert approaches a receptionist and says, "I have an appointment to see a demo of your new product." The salesman holds up a box and says to Dilbert, "And the unit will be in a case like this, but completely different, and it will have software, once we write it." Dilbert holds the box and says, "You let me travel four hours to see an empty case?" The salesman replies, "Are you forgetting the blank CD?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2002's comic on:


Tags #rip out ego, #put in box, #rot, #dead, #envy dead, #career day, #afraid to work

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Wally says to two children, "Then they rip out your ego and they put you in a box until you rot!!" The two children jump back and exclaim, "Gaaa!!" Wally continues, "You'll never know if you're dead or if you're simply envying the dead!!" The children look terrified. Dilbert bumps into Wally while walking down the hall and asks, "How was 'Career Day?'" Wally responds, "Kids these days are afraid of work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2002's comic on:


Tags #indecion, #intense pressure, #impossible before deadline, #layers of management., #incompetence, #odor of doom, #scarce and sniff, #3d glasses

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Dilbert is giving a presentation. He says, "The original schedule looked like this..." Dilbert points to a slide and says, "One month for a management decision and one year to do the project." The Boss, Wally, and Alice listen as Dilbert continues, "The revised schedule is this..." Dilbert continues, "One year of indecision followed by intense pressure to do the impossible before the deadline." Dilbert passes a box of 3-D glasses and says, "Now if you'll each take a pair of 3-D glasses..." Dilbert continues, "You can see the layers of management incompetence practically jump out at you." Dilbert hands out cards and says, "Now scratch one of these scented cards to sniff the unmistakable odor of doom." Wally and Alice are suffering from the smell. The Boss says, "I don't smell anything. Is mine broken?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2002's comic on:


Tags #make box bluer, #micromanaging, #blood smaple, #microscope, #manage cellular level, #erwin schrodinger, #quantum level, #free gifts, #white blood cells, #say hi

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Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches and says, "Make the box bluer." The Boss continues, "A little more.. A little more... A little more.." Alice interrupts, "That's it!!" Alice opens her drawer and exclaims, "When you get tired of micromanaging me..." Alice hands The Boss a cup of blood and continues, "Put this sample of my blood under a microscope so you can manage me on a cellular level." Alice continues yelling, "And here's a book by Erwin Schrodinger in case you'd like to manage me on a quantum level!" Alice screams, "Do you understand what I'm saying?" The Boss walks out carrying the blood sample and book. He thinks, "Free gifts." The Boss sits at his desk and says to the blood sample, "Now I want all of you white blood cells to spell 'Hi.'"