Close The Gap Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

87 Results for Close The Gap

View 41 - 50 results for close the gap comic strips. Discover the best "Close The Gap" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hi, I'm Jeff, the human ashtray." "I like to lean in real close to people so they can enjoy my aroma!" "OW! OW! OW!" "Sounds like someone is getting his ash kicked."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bearded guy, #too close, #Dilbert, #bugged out, #touching brain with nose

View Transcript

Transcript

Then I said... Dilbert: He is totally violating my personal space with his non-standard facial hair." "HA! HA! HA! HA!" Gaaa!!! His warm, moist breath is all over me!" "Please stop touching my brain with your nose."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #close the gap, #good at something, #jump ahead, #strategy and capabilities

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We need to find a way to close the gap between our strategy and our capabilities. Wally: Why don't we just pretend we're good at something and call it our strategy.Sorry...Didn't mean to jump ahead.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #staff meeting, #posting, #six sigma methods, #eliminate gap, #waste of time

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Carol, schedule a staff meeting. Carol: What's the topic?" The Boss: I plan to fuse Six Sigma with lean methods to eliminate the gap between our strategy and our objectives. Carol: I'll just say 'Waste of time'.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #last election, #incredibly close, #smart well inofrmed, #intelligence factor, #no right to complain

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "The last election was incredibly close. That's why it's so important to vote." The Boss: "Smart, well-informed people were evenly divded. Therefore, logically, that proves that intelligence is not a factor, so voting is absurd." The Boss: "Then you have no right to complain about the result." Wally: "I'm pretty sure I do."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new wireless hassock prodcut, #sales people, #work in teams, #wear e;ectroshock, #close the deal

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "We haven't sold a single unit of our new wireless hassock product." "Our plan is to make the sales people work in teams and take turns wearing electroshock pants." "Now close the deal, Cliffy, or it's payback time." "BUY IT!!! BUY IT!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #antivirus software, #secretly create viruses, #detected by software, #spooky, #underhanded, #sneaky, #criminal

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our company is going to make antivirus software. What's that tell you? CatBert: It tells me we'll secretly create viruses that can be detected only by our software. Catbert: Am I close? The Boss: You're spooky.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #weather, #close offcie, #forecast for blizzards, #freezing rain, #tsunamis, #deadly lave flows, #precision-guided ball laightening, #swims of killer bees, #snow tires

View Transcript

Transcript

"The weather is getting worse. Maybe we should close the office." "No." "The forecast is blizzards, freezing rain, tsunamis, deadly lava flows, and precision-guided ball lightning." "And radiation enlarged swarms of killer bees." "Get some snow tires, you big baby."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #be there minute, #sniffing, #cough, #cooties, #direct hot, #unclean, #bugs, #sneezed, #motivation, #looks like

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss calls after Alice, "Tell everyone I'll be there in a minute." He makes a noise, "Sniff." Alice turns and asks, "What's all that sniffing about? Do you have a cold?" The Boss replies, "Little one." The Boss begins to shake and makes the noise, "Mmph." The Boss' mouth opens very widely and he coughs severely. Papers are blown all around; Alice is hit directly in the face with the cough. Alice exclaims, "Gaaa!!! I took a direct hit!" Alice continues, "The cooties are burrowing into my skin." Alice starts running and exclaims, "I'm unclean!!" The Boss and Catbert watch Alice. The Boss says to Catbert, "I hope that's what motivation looks like." Catbert replies, "Close enough."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #not allowed to eat, #work cubicles, #gulp, #chomp chomp, #ignores rules, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert enters Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, employees are not allowed to eat in cubicles." Alice stuffs the food in her mouth, "Chomp chomp chomp" Catbert exclaims, "I'm going to see that every time I close my eyes!" Alice responds, "You started it."