Code Comic Strips - Page 5

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142 Results for Code

View 41 - 50 results for code comic strips. Discover the best "Code" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2014's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #engineers, #project inherited, #weak code, #rewrite, #great job, #hired idiot

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Dilbert: The project I inherited has weak code. I need to rewrite it from scratch. Boss: Will there ever be an engineer who says, "That last guy did a great job. Let's keep all of it?" Dilbert: I'm hoping the idiot you hire to replace me says that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2014's comic on:


Tags #gut in charge, #gut instinct, #ignoring certain people, #key to success, #morse code, #never right, #thinking, #wants a sandwhich

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Boss: The key to success is ignoring the people who say it can't be done. Dilbert: What if they're all right? Boss: They aren't right! Dilbert: Really? Other people are never right? Boss: You have to trust your gut! Dilbert: My gut is telling me that everything your're saying is ridiculous. It also says it wants a sandwich right now. I'd stay, but I'm putting my gut in charge of my decisions. Wally: My gut sends me messages in Morse code. Here comes one now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2013's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #computer programmers, #code, #writing code, #conspiracy theories

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Boss: I'd like to recognize Ted for writing his part of the code in just two days. Dilbert: How many days was it supposed to take? Boss: At least a week, I would think. Dilbert: Why would you think that? Boss: Because it was so hard to do. Dilbert: Who told you it was hard? Boss: Ted did. Dilbert: All he did was delete some lines from existing code and recompile it. Ted: It was hard. Boss: See! Wally: Do you have any more crazy conspiracy theories?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2013's comic on:


Tags #computer programmers, #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #code consistency, #legacy systems, #business

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Dilbert: What's your take on code consistency versus best practices for legacy systems? Boss; I want all of that stuff and I want it now. Dilbert: When people ask what you do for a living, what the $%@* do you say?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2013's comic on:


Tags #deception, #work ethic, #defraying disk drive, #compiling code

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Wally: I'd love to help you, but I'm in the middle of defragging my disk drive. When that's done, my computer will be compiling code for a few hours. Dilbert: How's work? Wally: I hear bad things about it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #monsters, #taxes, #taxpayers head explode, #turned on, #head explodes, #taxpayers, #frustration

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Writing the Tax Code Monster: If we do this right, it will be so complicated that it will make taxpayers' heads explode. Dogbert: Hee! Hee! Man: Multiply line 32 times the opposite of the integral of line 19 unless my pants have pleats and gaaaa!!!! Dogbert: Do you ever feel bad about doing this? Monster: I'd be lying if I said it didn't turn me on just a little.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2013's comic on:


Tags #gods, #monsters, #taxes, #tax code, #confused, #upstairs neighbor

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Monster: Ha ha! We've made the tax code so complex that even God would be confused. God: Seriously, dudes? Dogbert: Please tell me you have an upstairs neighbor. Monster: i believe I do, but I haven't actually seen him.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #monsters, #taxes, #sadistic monster, #income tax code, #complicated, #regressive tax codes, #like minds

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Monster: The best part of being a sadistic monster is that my job is to write the income tax code. Look how complicated I made it. Hee hee! Dogbert: You do good work, Stanky. Monster: But is it regressive enough? Dogbert: It's like we share a brain because you keep saying what I'm thinking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2013's comic on:


Tags #monsters, #taxes, #tax code, #stanky, #monster, #tree deweller

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Dogbert: I'm looking for a monster named Stanky Bathurd. Monster: He's kind of busy rewriting the tax code to be more frustrating. Dogbert: I know. He hired me to help.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2013's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #fired, #programming code, #undocumented, #passwords, #death spiral, #huge raise

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Boss: Wally, you have accomplished none of your goals. I have to let you go. Wally: Actually, I accomplished a lot. I spent the past ten years creating a tangle of undocumented programming code. Every one of our major systems is linked to it. If I don't enter a password every day, the entire company will go into a technology death spiral. If you value your job, you'll give me a huge raise and dance on this table like a monkey!!! Boss: Let's call it a tie. Wally: Yeah, I'm good with that.